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Post Info TOPIC: complacency


~*Service Worker*~

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complacency


I believe that we are just as sick as the alcoholic when we have or still live with alcoholism. Many of the symptoms are the same and if thats true then im burling drunk right now, or the equivelent. Ive gotten complacent I think. Ive lost touch with my sponsor, my hp, ive not picked up the phone in a while and although im doing my readings, ive stopped my steps. The consequences of this are becoming clear to me. Im feeling a bit agitated, negative, resentful, looking outward insdead of in. Relying on my own will and feeling the burden. How have you got out the rut when  this or if this happens to you?



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~*Service Worker*~

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Even with the program work I can experience some of that el cee. Owning it and trusting this will pass if I just keep steady with the work helps me. I also notice that I experience some of this even with program work when I'm nearing the anniversary of a major loss or going through it. My Dad's 86th birthday will come and go this year without his being here. The closer I get to his birthday, the more I notice I'm not really into much right now. I'm doing the necessary program work and I'm also accepting that this is the best I can be for right now. I'm not going to throw myself feverishly into anything. I'm simply going to accept myself as I am and trust that this, too, will pass. If I'm not working my program to include practicing HALT, then I can do the opposite as Jerry suggests. 

Oops - I wanted to add that I also change up my program routine.  If my readers aren't working for me on a particular day, I pull out other literature that is a help - non-CAL "The Language of Letting Go" is a big help to me at those times, other inspirational books or literature and sometimes I do something that has absolutely nothing to do with program and everything to do with experiencing something new.  I signed up for some low cost experiences for this week and I've scheduled those things as a supplement to program and as a way to help me work through some grief work I need to do. 

Doing the same thing over and over again even in program is something I've learned dulls program effort for me.  Changing what I can helps with this.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 25th of August 2014 06:29:11 PM



-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 25th of August 2014 06:30:31 PM

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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Oh such an invitation to lie and say "what!! that never happens to me"...lol  I have a lesson from my earlier sponsor imprinted on my soul that says "If you are feeling bad because of what you are doing, do the opposite and feel good".   What are the opposites of what you are doing el-cee?    Another spiritual tidbit he gave me, around me whining that "I just cannot seem to do that (or anything)" and his reply was "It isn't so much that you cannot do it...it's that you won't".  The last one was way too truthful and right on for me that I was struck speechless and then didn't want anymore whine.  Complacency is a comfortable word for me...Apathy sounds more like the disease.

When I made recovery every bit as much the habit that the disease is..everything changes for the better.    ((((hugs))))  smile

 

want to see more input from others.



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~*Service Worker*~

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Powerful awareness LC . I agree the" isms" of the disease are alive and well when I begin to let go of my dedication to my program work. Telling on myself (as you have done) then increasing my meetings and going back to the first 3 Steps each day and a 10 th Step each night usually brings back my serenity and I am back on tract.

Be gentle with yourself you have been working hard on your recovery so remember to not go into HALT

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
PP


~*Service Worker*~

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When this happens to me, and it does, I have a few places I may go for renewal; our town library, a bookstore, or an art store. Sometimes I will even go into an empty church and just sit in the quiet.  My mind gets restless and I need to rest it with experiences that fill my soul.  



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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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Meditate and come up with 3 nice things to do for self and then 3 nice things to do for others (non enabling of course). You will feel reconnected more after that.

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~*Service Worker*~

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For me I come here and post. For some reason all you guys are just the ticket when I'm down. When I get lots of ESH I can snap out of it right away.

((( hugs )))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

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Myself I would not say we, but more I am. Not everyone is the same nor are they all sick. Many of us have been quite happy and ok using the tools of al anon in our relationships. I have a friend who's been very close since we were12! She is A and a great person!

I loved my husbands very much and was happy a lot of the time, just normal and both were A's.

Aism has been part of all my life. Life has been a hard one with lots of lessons but I know even though A's are in my life that did not make me sick.

When I didn't know my AH had medically relapsed I was sick big time. I did not know what was going on! Part was brain damage from his surgery. But soon as I realized omgosh this is horrible, HP put in my head to look online and voila! MIP.

Working the program allowed me to have a lot more happy time with my sick very loved guy. And he was a caution rrrrr

I mean it can be complacency  to stay with someone who is freaking boring with no motivation, or one who spends every moment making ships in bottles! Or someone who at work stands around a hole and watches other people work down there.....uno?

Hey dear one we all go down sometimes. What will be your step back up? We are here!!! love!

 



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

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el-cee, you are aware of your feelings, you are looking for a way out of your rut, and you asked for help. All of this shows you aren't complacent. Be gently and kind to yourself. smile

Thanks for sharing



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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold  O-on  P-pain E-ends

Linda-



~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks for your comments everyone, ive tried harder today and getting back to doi g the work, debilyn, im not sure what your saying. When we live with alcoholism we get symptoms of the disease, are there people who escape these symptoms? If so, ive not met any In alanon, isnt that what were are here from, to recover from the symptoms of been affected. I believe that we dont escape being affected, maybe at different levels, but we would be robots if we lived with this disease and remain unscathed. Recognising the happy times in an alcoholic marriage took me to recover from my symptoms in order to see them.
Thanks for the comment though, thought provoking, would still choose we, not im. Thats the one thing im pretty sure we have in common, being affected.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Hi~I think I'm too new to get off track yet, but I'm sure it will happen. My training in my job taught me that if what I'm doing isn't working, try something else. I think one of the earlier responders said something similar. And you do recognize that you are drifting and we are sending you the life preserver. You have great awareness and that is a definate asset! Lyne

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Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

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Yep, I notice that I do this - and so I celebrate the noticing of it and then figure out what I'd like to do next whist saying thank you for a new lesson. Sometimes I'll bake or sew for a neighbour, sometimes I'll go for a walk, or gift myself a day for painting. We are multi facetted - like a diamond el-cee

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~*Service Worker*~

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And you do sparkle whether you know that or not. Keep polishing, sisters.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 27th of August 2014 01:21:05 PM

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig

PP


~*Service Worker*~

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I agree, Milkwood...there is a hint of magical, too, within your posts.



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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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PP and Grateful - Awwww, I'm not so used to such lovely words, but I am catching them with glee and delight. Whatever it is you are talking about it is brought out by the magical people here and the miracle world we live in. Thank you to all the special people here.

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~*Service Worker*~

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I agree too, your a wee gem, pardon the pun, milkwood.x

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~*Service Worker*~

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Im grateful for you people taking the time to offer me suggestions, it such a generous act really when I think about it. Its easy to take it for granted, so thanks. Im going to try them all.x

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~*Service Worker*~

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I think that being able to have the support, to get back on track, from all the members of this forum is key to each and every one of us. Very grateful for you, all the members and service workers!!

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 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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Date:

awwDebb

 



-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 28th of August 2014 08:30:11 PM

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig

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