The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
after drinking daily for god knows how many years now, he can't not drink.
he gets the shakes, even after 4-6 hourd of no alcohol.
detoxing days lead us to great binges, where all kinds of bad go on.
i am drained. done. he's sucking the life out of me, i can feel it.
i have already lost a sister to alcohol induced liver failure.
i know i can't change or control him i don't know what i can do, when i have to run away from my house at 4am, bc drinking makes him wired and awake, he never just passes out from drinkign too much.
i have lost all patience and tolerance.
I just don't know what to do that is what rought me here.
If i was to just let him leave, i fear the worst unchagable result/consequence: death
if i leave, i am afraid my house won't be standing when i come back.
i havve turned to my HP more now than ever. the days and nights are timeless, i couldn't tell you, because of the insanity of drinking, for him, is every waking moment. it does not matter what day what time it is. it does not matter if he has work the next day.
he's making me suicidal, which led me here.
i either need strength to stand by my husband's side, or strength to walk away with out guilt.
((((D))))....been there and done that in fact when I called the suicide prevention center they were all at lunch and no one was there to speak with me and then I found the hotline number for Al-Anon and the journey began. I learned how to commit a "successful suicide" which is not ending my life and learning how to end how I was living it. Today I have a life which I wouldn't give up for anything...Someone asked me this morning at my home group "hows your life going"? and I replied, "very well balanced and peaceful". We nodded and smiles cause he was in the same atmosphere.
A big part of that comes from practice of surrender and trusting HP/God. The short version of the first three steps is, "I can't, God can, I'll let God". That is courage and faith and letting go. Keep practicing that and overcome the urge or compulsion (alcoholism is all about compulsions on both sides of the bottle) to get involved in the fixing and management. Keep focus on slogans and philosophies such as the 3cees and detachment and growing with the fellowship...old timers and sponsors. Keep coming back here also as the MIP Family is a 24/7 support family. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
Your husband is a sick man.
I suggest reading the first 63 pages if AA's Big Book to understand his disease - but getting strongly connected to Alanon is a great place to get the help YOU need.
Dayna Welcome I can understand your fear and pain as I have experienced it when I lived with my son's alcoholism. Living with the disease of alcoholism not only affects the alcoholic, but it also affects the entire family. AA is the recovery program for the alcoholic and alanon offers the recovery program for family members. Many have felt as you do and have found support, compassion, understanding and a new way of life by attending alanon face to face meetings.
We learn the alcoholism is a fatal, progressive disease over which we are powerless and that the most affective way we can help our family situation is to learn how to take care of yourselves in a new constructive manner. Keeping the focus on our own sanity, health, well being, living one day at a time, attending face to face meeting to break the isolation caused by the fear of this disease opens us up to new ideas and new solutions to live by
You are not alone and there is hope Please keep coming back
