Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: confused


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Date:
confused


Ok. My Husband Took The First step And admitted he Was powerless Over Alcohol. Today is His Day One sober. My Question Is. Is It Normal For Someone Trying To Quit Drinking To Detach From Their partner And Not say I Love You Back Or feel Annoyed By Them? I Dont Know what to Do Or How To Support him Im lost  Please Help i Love him and want to be Here for him but i Feel Like he Wont Let me. i Dont Want To Push Him away On Accident. I Really Need help  And Im Codependent And tryig To fix that about Me.



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

Day one of not drinking isn't even close to being sober and he may well be doing irritable, restless and discontent as AA puts it.  His one day not drinking versus the time just before he didn't pick up another one isn't enough time to get your hopes up.  Learning as much as you can about this disease, what it is and how it works is the best that you can do.  I learned that within the Al-Anon face to face meeting groups where I sat with thousands just like us who learned how to live a sane and serene life whether their alcoholic was still drinking or not and then kept coming back to pass their awareness and growth to those that were coming thru the door.  This disease is thousands of years old and it isn't going to go away easy or soon. 

He took the first step for him or should have anyway...not for you or for both of you...just him.   There are lots of things for you to find out about yourself which are just as important.  Look in the white pages of your local telephone book for the hotline number of Al-Anon and call that number to find out where and when we get together in your area and come as soon as you can.   Keep coming back here also...the MIP family is in support of you  (((((hugs))))) smile



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 579
Date:

He's gonna be irritable restless and discontent until he gets to AA and starts recovering
I suggest staying out of his way

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2725
Date:

I agree with the other two responses. Stopping any addiction (smoking for example) causes anger, frustration, and resentment. Don't forget, he's probably quitting for you, not because he wants to. He will need help or won't really change. And just to let you know, my A stops drinking for months at a time, no program, and then goes back complete with lying and sneaking around. I have found a true gift in alanon that helps me be centered and yes even happy at times, no matter what my A is doing. Keep coming back. Help yourself. You will figure out the rest in your own time, Lyne

__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 987
Date:

 

the best way you can help yourself and your partner is to attend as many al anon meetings as you can.

Get the books and read, get phone number and talk to the people who live with alcoholics.

there is lots of support for you but you have to reach out like you have on here.

AA members can support your partner I hope he is attending meetings and al anon is for you or alateen for your children if you have any.  this really is a family illness everybody is effected in various ways.

really glad you found us, keep coming back

 

hugs tracy xxxxx

 

 



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:

Getting them sober by toby rice drew volume one good book cheap on amazon.

He is very very sick. He needs to look after his self. We need to do that for ourselves. I would tell him I love you, but will stay out of  your way as you work this journey.

Then dear one get to meetings there,and we have them here. keep coming here too.

al anon is for you. reading al anon literature will help you also.

Please don't take his stuff personal. He is working so hard right now and may try to take it out on you. If you can in your head say its not my problem.

If you keep coming we will support you! for now you can research addiction, alcoholism, detox, whatever you want on the net. Keep coming we really do care!

 



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 228
Date:

I agree with every post here. Just get out of his way. He has to start with him for quite sometime and find his way on his journey. You can tell him you love him for sure, but focus on you right now the most. Believe me I had to learn to do that the hard way and took alot of lumps, bumps and heartache along the way. Your detaching will be most beneficial. Someone here told me one day to QTIP and when I took that advice, I found out more and more about me. Al-anon meetings will help you, literature will help you and us here can give your our E/S/H.

Keep coming back!

__________________

Linda

Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries

Matthew 6:34

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.