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Post Info TOPIC: dating?


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 148
Date:
dating?


I've been in this new city for almost a month and have been hit on three times...loll my low self-esteem always had me thinking I was an ugly duckling. I did exchange numbers with one guy. So far we have just texted a few times. He asked me out on a date. It took me abt 5 hrs to text back I had to call my alanon friends first this is not a decision to take lightly. I haven't been on a date in 18 yrs which was last century. ..lolll I am busy this weekend with work and next weekend I drive home to visit. So I said maybe we could meet up the weekend after labor day. I felt excited but nervous. Legally I'm still married even tho we have been separated since December. I don't even know if I'm ready for dating...I've been at peace alone. I find it odd when we text I can text with him like I would my friends. With my ex it was always forced and sometimes he would send me awful texts back. My ex even emotionally abused me by text. I feel all in all if nothing else I'm getting my feet wet in experiencing how men can be different from my ex. I probably won't keep the date I don't think I'm ready but it's nice to know I still got it.....lolll thanks for letting me share my ramblings :)

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
Date:

TG I am happy for you. Remember you can hold on to program and still date. Practicing these principles in all our affairs, enabled me to stay present in the relationship, keep focused onmyself, say what I needed and not make myself invisible while still being detached and supportive. Keep us updated.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5663
Date:

It's just a date :)

You can take it as fast or slowly as you want. That's the cool thing about reapproaching relationships/dating after being in the program a good while. YOU make your own dating rules but you stick to your program.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

Now this is a happy possibility to contemplate and decide upon.  I'm glad to hear it.



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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

That is such a good sign, maybe your giving off good healthy vibes.x

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Senior Member

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Posts: 233
Date:

Good for you. Enjoy the positive attention. :) 



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Do the next right thing~

I've never regretted taking the high road. ~



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

I remember being hit on several times when I got into program and damn it scared the crap out of me.  I had hear the question "what is my part in it"?  and also "If I don't change I am doomed to duplicate".  I also learned "Where ever I go that's where I am" and the fear of dragging my defects over there and over here and over everywhere just took the excitement and promise away for a time.  I also learned that since I had been dependent upon my alcoholic/addict to supply my peace of mind and serenity then just changing people wouldn't make it much different.  What a journey I went thru and how grateful I was to have the program close by when "I went back out again".  Keep and open mind and stick with your growth which sounds very solid.   ((((hugs)))) smile   



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Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 141
Date:

Happy for you, TexasGal. Moving forward.  smile



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:

dating is just having another's company. not like you have to fall in love. Make new man friends.

let it be what it is.



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon

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