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Post Info TOPIC: Wanting to hear from those of you who experienced foreclosure on a house


~*Service Worker*~

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Wanting to hear from those of you who experienced foreclosure on a house


It's a high possibility my house will be foreclosed within a few months. Long story. Basically my AH lives in the house. I moved out in March. I couldn't afford the mortgage anyway because he lost his job in March. I moved out mostly due to his drinking. He has fallen almost 3 months behind on payments. He won't agree to sell it. He tells me he doesn't want it to foreclose but he also says "well, you moved out and you aren't paying anything on the mortgage". Right, because I had to move out before we killed each other. My sanity is more important than a fixer upper house that hasn't ever really been fixed completely in 20 damn years!! He is a squatter in my home in my opinion. I left because if I stayed and tried to make him leave, he would have kept coming back. Plus he has tons of crap there for me to see that was making me depressed. 

So, if you have ever foreclosed on a house could you please tell me your circumstances and how badly it affected your credit? Did the bank come after you for money after it was foreclosed? I am scared. And I am venting. Rough day today...



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~*Service Worker*~

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This is one for your lawyer I hate to say.  When banks don't get their money the take the asset back.  Sometimes they let you buy it back during the foreclosure resale process if you are interested and sometimes they settle for a smaller pay off.  Sucks that this is part of the insanity of the disease...hate to see it happening to you.  ((((cry))))



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~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks Jerry. Lawyer? Can't afford one. I am trying to decide when to file official divorce papers and see what can be done about the house. I just don't want to go to court and be ordered to pay him support because he doesn't work. So unsure what to do. I am thinking about signing up for one of those lawyer services that you pay for monthly. Not sure what to do. I want $$ out of the house since I've owned it twice as long as he has.

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PP


~*Service Worker*~

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You can get free consultations with attorneys.  I would be cautious of the prepaid legal plans.  3 years ago, my husband and I filed chapter 13 bankruptcy to release 2 rental properties that we could no longer maintain, we were being drained financially.  the legal fees were paid by the bankruptcy plan.  It is best to seek guidance from an atty as to your options regarding your home.  Your credit hit will be dependent on the route you take.  Try not to act out of fear or desperation, get the facts, then make your decisions.  Also, since we had a bankruptcy plan through an attorney, we were protected from contact by any creditors that were owed money.  We are paying back our debt at the level we can afford because it is a chapter 13.  Again, an attorney can give you options.  Good luck in this process.  It really was a good choice for us to proceed as we did.  It was very hard at first, but we got through.



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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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Are you really expected to pay alimony to an unemployed ex? Im in the uk and I dont think that happens here. Is he not expected to pay child maintenence to you? I dont get the idea of alimony especially if hes chosen to not get work for that very purpose. So you would be expected to take care of him, is it a set period of time? Or is it dependant on what you can afford?

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~*Service Worker*~

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Elcee, I think the idea is that he would claim that he was a stay at home dad and this was their arrangement. Often times, this is the arrangement with women staying home and not having a job so now that there is more equality in divorces there is a negative backlash which is that men can claim the same thing about being the "stay at home' person. He could make the case that it was a joint decision to stop working and spend time doing childcare at home and that this was a lifestyle that was agreed upon during the marriage. In that case, alimony could be awarded just the same as to a female who has stopped working to raise children and now may find it hard to get by with an even remotely similar standard of life as it was before the separation/divorce. Child support wont be ordered and enforced until a legal separation or divorce papers are signed. Until then, NLG's husband is considered a full custodian by the law and nobody knows they are separated governmentally... For example, he could pick up their daughter from school anytime he feels like it, take his daughter whenever...and he would not be breaking the law until a formal parenting plan is drafted or agreed upon.

This is my understanding. Someone else can probably better testify if this is correct.

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~*Service Worker*~

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If I were you, I would call the mortgage company or bank. Ask about a loan modification. OR better, usually before they foreclose, which can take a very long time, you can sell it on a short sale or just sell it.

I don't know anything about where you are and how the market is in your area. I would think the best one to call would be a real estate company or two. Look for one advertising in that area.

It's hard anymore to get money out of a house. What you may consider is advertising yourself. Look at other homes like it for sale, then decide on a price with however much down.

Many people sell their homes themselves so they don't have to pay a realtor. But you could still call one for advice. many people like a fixer upper, then do it themselves as they live in it then flip it.

If this is the one that has junk all over, you could cut the price for how much it would be to cart it off.

Also if this house is in your name, check your rental law in your state. Here I could file an fed, then go thru the process of evicting him.

Keep us updated. I am, after soooo many years like oh 10? Going thru this house thing. Also Let me tell you. Many loans were filed electronically and they have no paperwork. Its very possible they have done illegal things.

Don't give up, don't leave it empty. People hear foreclosure and think they have to leave. you don't. Mortgage com and banks do not want to pay some one to file all the stuff and go thru the process to get you out. so they leave it be  and work on easier ones. Also there is a thing if they really want out called CAsh for keys. I told this one gal this, she didn't know. She had no money to move! She found out they did have it and got enough to move and some first rent!

Take a breath. It will be ok. there are some wonderful realtors that would want to help. good pr for them.

hugs!

 



-- Edited by Debilyn on Thursday 21st of August 2014 02:30:07 PM

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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



Senior Member

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I have not gone through this situation but my heart goes out to you. I will pray for you.

Robin ks

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~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks everyone. Problem is that the ex does not want to sell the house and I need his signature to do it.
Gee thanks PC...lol...you gave me some more things to worry about. Honestly though I don't think AH is smart enough to tell the judge what you just outlined. Lol

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~*Service Worker*~

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Elcee I am afraid of the unknown. Usually a judge will use a form on the computer to compare incomes and decide things like spousal support from that. But we can also say that AH has taken $$ out of his retirement so he had some income since March and wasn't totally broke. But I make more money than him right now. That's the scary part. Honestly though I do not know if he has money stashed away or what he is doing. He won't tell me anything because "I've ruined his life and I threw him away like a piece of garbage. " so I run a risk filing divorce papers. He says he wants 50/50 custody. That will not happen once I expose all his drinking issues. I want 80/20% custody which is about what we do now. And I will have it put in writing no alcohol. Lol. Like that would make a difference. I need to trust HP and file the papers I think

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~*Service Worker*~

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Well NLG - I would think in this case, it would be difficult to prove that he was a "stay at home dad" because he was hospitalized a couple times during the period he lost his job and it's evident he lost it from the ramifications of his drinking problem and mental illness. Seems like you have enough to prove that you would not have just chosen him to not work.

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~*Service Worker*~

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No matter what choices you make, your HP is there to support and guide you. Are What Ifs plaguing you, sister?

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~*Service Worker*~

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I don't have any experience personally in this area but in my experience, most people in similar situations that say they can't afford a lawyer find out later that they should have made an investment up front in one to save a lot of money and headache down the road.

Kenny

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~*Service Worker*~

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ah ok it sounds like your only recourse is to file for divorce. I don't know what the laws are in your state. Here everything is divided in half.

so if that is true, then he has to get an appraisal and either sell to give you half or pay you your half. He could refi the house if it has equity to get your half. Could even lower the payments. If the judge orders this, he has to do it.

BUT the thing is, you will have to go after him to get that money. He is probably not going to just give it to you.

My experience is when an A owes someone money, they never will shell it out. never. They only think of themselves. Just like now hon, he blames you for ruining his life. He takes zero responsibility.

Myself I just moved on. My AH owed so much to taxes, I had NO idea. They took my returns for years, thousands. I had to scrape not to be homeless. I supported him for awhile too, after his brain surgery.

He lies and tells everyone I did not allow him to come get his stuff. I told him more than once to come get his stuff. He was welcome to.

He didn't so i burned every bit of it and sold his pick up.

this is my experience. The disease changes things. Divorce is only stopping the marriage connection, with an A it seems to never or rarely be one where both parties get half.

For me I would rather walk away and do my own life and let it go. You know if the house is in your name too, then possibly he would go for a refi, you get some money, he then has the house 100%. I would look into this asap. otherwise with three mo. behind...so calling the mortgage company may be what you need to do to find your options. since you work it may be a good way out of the foreclosure and you get your money.....



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

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KennyFenderjazz wrote:

I don't have any experience personally in this area but in my experience, most people in similar situations that say they can't afford a lawyer find out later that they should have made an investment up front in one to save a lot of money and headache down the road.

Kenny


 So how about sending me the "up front" money...lol. I have no money to retain a lawyer. All my money goes to rent and bills. I will get free advice from attorneys when I can. 



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~*Service Worker*~

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grateful2be wrote:

No matter what choices you make, your HP is there to support and guide you. Are What Ifs plaguing you, sister?


 For sure. Hate not knowing what will happen. I will call some lawyers for free consultations. 



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~*Service Worker*~

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I'm glad you are taking an action in calling some lawyers for free consultations. When the what ifs have gotten to me, talking it out with my sponsor, utilizing Step 3 and Step 11 and reminding myself to live one day at a time to the best of my ability helps me tremendously. The future is always God's business. The present is mine.

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