The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am still away from home and feeling so many emotions, I had first communication from my husband after two and half weeks, it actually upset me more speaking with him again, but gradually I have come to terms with that and am accepting it is all a process, I have no goal as yet sept to heal myself from the turmoil of living with insanity and not having my feelings validated, I think I am stronger and I am trying to stay open and trusting in the power of time to heal things I cannot control, I am also feeling the understanding betwix wanting and needing, wanting is my choice needing takes away my power, I am seeing that I can love someone out of the way of them, even if that love is hard and cruel and one sided my love is honest and true and thats been a very difficult lesson to learn, I am dropping the if you loved me you would----------, having left a marriage spanning 35 years of course I am adrift I have moments of shear panick when I want to go back but it subsides and I am trying to insert new thoughts and feelings around this based on only my thoughts, I have alot going on in my life right now, we had our first grandchild born last week and that is hurting me dreadfully, my son is not with the mother and we my husband and I have not been invited to meet the child, my son is being kept at arms length too and is struggling to cope with his new little man that is being used as a porn, my son is bringing his problems to me now here at my friends and again I am trying to stay grounded and supportive but it's hard, I am taking it minute by minute second by second at times and it's all playing out I think, there have been some awsome shares on this site reacently, the slogans helped me noend, thankyou to all that contribute, I could not do this without you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Congratulations on being a grandmother and on being willing to keep an open mind and finding help for yourself as you do what you need to do to take care of you, Katy. I am sorry the birth of this child is shrouded in conflict right now and do hope your son is able to be united with his child in some way and that you are able to experience the joy of being a grandmother in the way I'm sure you'd like to do it? It sounds to me as if this is one of those turn it over types of situations that are bigger than all of you? HP has a way of sorting things out that I've learned I can never do on my own. I can only admit how I'm thinking and feeling, ask for guidance and support, act on what I can change, and entrust the outcome to my HP. Prayers for peace among all involved with the birth of the baby and many hugs and much care for you, Katy.
Congratulations on being a granny, I hope it all sorts itself out. It s not easy making huge changes to our lives, its scary, strange and takes us right out our comfort zone. These feelings ease and you begin to enjoy beint on your own, it soon becomes clear how unhappy you actually were. For me, the thought of going back with him repulses me. My life on my own has improved so much, my inner self is free. Feelings are not facts, how you feel will change, the facts wont. X
Congratulations on the new birth in your family. I love the honesty and acceptance in your post; your willingness to move through this in spite of the pain is inspiring. (((hugs)))
Congratulations Katy, on your new grandson and on your strength! I understand it's difficult as I struggle everyday, I have just begun to attempt to put myself first and it is a difficult road for me. Reading the peace and serenity that others have reached ion these posts has given me so much hope and a new trust in myself. I'm not sure why these are the paths we were given but I know my HP has something wonderful for me in store, for all of us.
