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Post Info TOPIC: In a slippery place!


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 79
Date:
In a slippery place!


Who am I kidding?  I have not slipped...I have jumped head first into insanity!  I walked away from alanon for a time...you know...I got busy...things got better! HUGE mistake!  

My middle son wont talk to me.  He ended up at hospital multiple times for 'anxiety' so he could get a shot.  He has been doing this from time to time I found out.  He called MY HUSBAND (his step dad/enabler) to pick him up and bring him to our house.  I said NO.  I am the BAD GUY.  My husband...he is always the GOOD GUY.  

Now I know I need this program more than I ever thought possible.  I need it for my 2 boys AND dealing with my husband.  The middle son will always call my husband for anything.  My husband keeps secrets from me, so Im pretty much in the dark.  But every once in awhile (daily now) my husband gets mad at me and repeats the same stuff to me my son says.  They BLAME me for things being rocky right now.  Things are rocky because my son is going over the cliff in his well  hidden disease and I wont act like I dont see it!  My husband makes excuses.  Its crazy!

My sons friend sent me a photo of my sons apartment (which he may soon loose since he was fired from yet another job) and I have never seen anything like that!  WHO could live like that? It is cleaner under a bridge!  It broke my heart.  I NEEEEEEDDDDD to LET GOOOOOO again!!!!!!

Thank you for letting me rant!

 

 



__________________

More of LET GO & LET GOD, Less of GRAB ON & LET ME!  



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

Katy: You seem to be caught in the middle of something where everybody is doing the best they can and things are spinning out of control. I see that you know the solutions for your own dilemma - Al-Anon and letting go. Perhaps your son will listen to his own HP and find his solutions, too? Sometimes, things have to get pretty awful for there to be any change. Remember that this, too, will pass. As we've both experienced, we are powerless over the disease and other people. But we have a Power untouched by this disease to turn to for guidance, hope and wisdom. Sending you lots of support and prayers for a positive change in you and in the family dynamics. Hard as it may be to do this, perhaps a gratitude list would be helpful for you? Whatever we choose to focus on grows. Maybe focusing on what is going well in you and in your life might give you a little peace?

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 234
Date:

I truly can relate to all your feeling.. I had to let go of my son to save me!! my sons addiction has almost taken me to my grave.. But this time I fought back !! I had to remove myself from my higher power and let him take over.. I cant save my son.. My son now sits in our county jail for 6 months and till this day I have not gone to see him.. He ran a muck for two months on the streets and I was the last on his mind. But seeing him now with all the anger I'm holding would do me or him no good. I thank god for intervening.. Or this time around I may have had to bury my only son.. Save you!!!! 



__________________

Gaby 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

Im sorry katy, its heartbreaking, it sounds like your stuck in the middle and your husbands enabling is undoing your detaching, your powerless over both people. Boundaries may be the way forward, your sons friend sending pics, I would put an end to that, its like emotional blackmail. If your husband is busy enabling then maybe you could nicely tell him to keep it to himself, its his business and you dont want any part in it. Just a suggestion, its not easy to detach and let go but your husbands behaviour must make it 10 times harder. The tools are where you left them, you just need to pick them back up.x

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:

(((( Katy ))))

Just come back and start posting again. Get back into your reading, journal and meetings. You can do this and rant all you want because this place is better than ranting to your husband or son.

(((( hugs ))))


__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3968
Date:

Glad to see you back and in full awareness of how to get back into your program! Sending you love and support on your journey!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."

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