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Post Info TOPIC: low self-esteem


Senior Member

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low self-esteem


I've been working on my steps and I finished step 4 I'm meeting with ssponsor Saturday to do step 5. It was very emotionally exhausting. But the underlying theme is low self-esteem. I was abused physically and emotionally. I was cheated on 4 times. And I stayed all in the name of love. But maybe it was my low self-esteem. I could barely pick my head up. I allowed unacceptable behavior. Now that I broke free I am slowly getting better and rebuilding my perception of myself. I feel like I was in some kind of a nightmare and I have awaken. I am grateful for this program :)

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~*Service Worker*~

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Good job T.  Keep the light on over your forth step cause it will help you grow beyond your wildest dreams.  Getting to know that one person you have lived your entire life with and didn't know very much about (you) is nuclear.  My HP walked it with me long and far.  I believe HP wanted me to get to know myself deeply also then we both could be on the same page.   (((((hugs))))) smile



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~*Service Worker*~

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Great texasgal You are working hard and discovering YOURSELF .
That is what recovery is all about:)

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Good work. You did the best with what you had at the time and your values with regard to loyalty are commendable. They just did not suit you in a situation where, as you recognized, self-esteem needed to take precedent. The literature states that most of our problems are from positive instincts gone awry. Be easy on yourself while you make these discoveries.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Yay for you!! I agree with everyone, inventory is to get to know yourself. And to know yourself becomes to like yourself, or at least be comfortable with yourself. So many of our unacceptable behaviors are there to keep us from getting to know ourselves, to keep us enslaved from growing. You will be amazed how much you will grow now, how much you will recognize things from your past are because of something you have now discovered. And you will be able to forgive yourself because you will know what caused it, and best of all, you will be able to change and grow because the awareness will become built into your behavior!

Kenny

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Veteran Member

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texasgal - Do you ever sound like me. After several affairs, mental and verbal abuse over the years my self esteem was low as well. Just like you I am finally looking at myself in a more positive light. I still have my moments where I go to crazy town and put myself down, my counselor reminds me - "You may not be the best, but you're good enough" Keep reminding yourself that you are good enough and some day you will find someone who will like because you are good enough. Keep up the positive attitude!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Do you have that phrase 'chin up!' in your part of the world? Someone said it to me and I actually tried it - I had not realised how bowed I had been and it made a huge difference. Great to see you unfurling

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~*Service Worker*~

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I did my first proper step 5 last week and like you my step 4 brought out many shortcomings that do stem from low self esteem. Its like facing the truth of who you are for the first time, it is an awakening of the truth of us. Im getting better too, i know what unacceptable behaviour is now, before I was so confused I didnt even know the meaning of unacceptable, I found a way to justify any behaviour and make the unacceptable acceptable. Its been an amzing journey and im only at step 5. Now I need to start thinking of that list.x

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~*Service Worker*~

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I stayed, too. Loyalty is one of my character assets and only became a defect when the loyalty was no longer deserved and it took me awhile to figure that one out. I'm glad you are working the steps and experiencing some relief, seeing your assets and rebuilding or rediscovering your healthy self. Nobody gets out of an alcoholic, abusive situation unscathed and fortunately those wounds can heal and we can be happy and confident again. (((TG)))

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig

PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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Great work...keep going and you will see so many wonderful pieces of you.  When you can own the wonders, the not so wonderful behaviors are more easily loved.



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Paula



Senior Member

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Posts: 249
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I look at staying differently, none of our good actions are ever wasted on people, whether they cheat on us or not. We don't have the power over other people, whatever they do.

I feel that its easy to walk away, its harder to stay. Not saying you should ever be physically abused there are limits, but staying until your ready on your terms will do a lot for your self esteem.

Nothing in this Universe stays the same, it is always in flux, so are our lives. Never have regrets or think badly of yourself, not when you had the best intentions.

Keep up the work.

Hugs, Bettina

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~*Service Worker*~

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Woot woot .. keep up the good work!

Hugs S :)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop

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