Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Inventory and amends are


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Inventory and amends are


 

done.  The inventory is very revealing.  I think I know and know that I know and then the inventory reveals much more (often much much more).  The inventory revealed all of the motivations for my rant...where I came from in the disease; yeppers,  The freaking bank that brought down our financial home and threaten to turn it into a hut, the foreign government which illegally stole my nation and continues to steal from it everyday while destroying it including actually bombing it and  and...give me a minute I can grow this list into pages. By myself, without help from others and a power greater than myself I am completely powerless so I have to stop shouldering this by myself.  I'm drunk on being harmed or I was more drunk on being harmed yesterday and the day before and until I made contact with my son and grand-daughter and apologized for bashing them with my stuff which they are powerless over.  At least it put my grand daughters to sleep...numbed out of their head and at most it might have my son and daughter-in-law think more about coming over for dinner again.  They might ask me "can you keep the dialogue on the salad or juice"?  Thanks for the support.   ((((hugs)))) smile



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

Glad you're feeling better and I had to laugh at the question you put into your son and daughter-in-law's mouth. That would be a milder discussion, wouldn't it? To simply talk about the juice or the salad. I'm not sure the discussion would last long so you might want to add a little side note on how the lettuce or the lemon came to be, throw in a few lettuce or lemon jokes, show them how you used to do the lettuce or lemon dance (just make it up, Jerry - they won't know), and then ponder aloud your favorite desserts and why they are your favorites? (Of course, after this stimulating conversation and improv dance fest, they might welcome a rant?)hmm



-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 21st of April 2014 06:59:15 PM



-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 21st of April 2014 07:10:10 PM

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:

When it comes to Banks and Governments taking charge and doing what they think is best for you or taking from you is saddening and makes one think they are helpless. It's a tough situation to be in. Yes we are powerless to the point of we did everything we could to stop the intrusion of our freedom and rights. We can pray and do our work and hopefully it will someday turn around in our favor. I asked God to please help Jerry that he will have a good outcome in the future.

I know where you are coming from when taking out your stuff on others. I have done it many times. I can still do it when all my problems are coming to a head. The first person in front of me can get the brunt of it. I did it last week with a co-worker that wasn't doing her part but I too had a tough day and she just brought it to a head and I took it all out of her of what she was NOT doing. She asked me to please not yell at her. I felt bad and apologized to her later and we are OK again. She's still a messed up worker but that's not for me to judge, I need to take care of my business and my business only.

I didn't think about taking a inventory about the car and my son. I wonder if I can do this. I need to know why I feel so guilty. It shouldn't be hard to figure out but the feelings are there and I need to learn to curb them.

Thank you for your post......makes me think and that's a good thing. We can help each other with just our words and ESH. Good job Jerry!!! ((( hugs )))


__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Hi Jerry

You know that Being powerless , trusting HP and  acceptance are the keys to all our issues.  

In my prayers  



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:

Inventory and amends are done.....and it freed you up to give us some snippets of the part of you that can tell a story that makes us smile.  I love how this all workswink



__________________

Paula



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

Grateful...I'm saving your feedback...LOL  think I'll practice the suggestion, practice, practice, practice.  I can see a really different outcome.  At the least it will side track their expectations from the last meal.  Lettuce and Lemon dance....some direction please?

   (((hugs))) love it.  wink



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

(((((Cathyinaz))))) thanks that was helpful and thanks for the prayers they are soooo appreciated.  I got a response back from the bank which helped me determine that I really do need to take it into court and treating them civilly with the hope that they would see my viewpoint finally arrived at another finally.  Finally I must see a lawyer or someone else that HP points me at.  

You can inventory any event in your life that you want to reveal how you are handling things.  Inventories are not only about seeing where I was wrong...it is also about seeing where I did my part well, fairly, honestly and justly.  Inventories are good recovery tools...your post helps me to understand that my "self boundaries" need reworking while I am under much stress; that I really do need to put the breaks on and "shut the hell up" and spare others the flack of my explosions.  Thanks for you...((((hugs)))) smile



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

Jerry, since you asked me for directions: As far as the lettuce dance, I guess it depends on the type of lettuce. The first type that comes to my mind is iceberg lettuce which can be unfurled leaf by leaf. You could start this dance on the floor - don't tell anybody what you are doing or why - just get on the floor. Try to appear furled - be sure to include your brows, cheeks, jaw, shoulders, arms, hands, legs, feet. Then, slowly unfurl everything until your entire body is relaxed and arms and legs end up stretched up or out from the trunk. I'd suggest a slow piece of music for this that you can sing yourself or play for them as background music on CD, DVD, or whatever player you might have? Quincy Jones has a beautiful number called "Everything Must Change" that might work well with this dance. This might help put everyone into a relaxed state? Then, once all are relaxed, perhaps you could then create the lemon dance that would simply be a rolling, rolling, rolling and yes, of course, the music for that one could be Tina Turner's "Proud Mary." I'd encourage them to join me in the roll. By this time, everyone should be sufficiently uncertain of what comes next and entirely vulnerable (or running for their cars) and that's when you can suggest dessert and coffee? This should help jump start new memories for the family that they'll be talking about for years.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 22nd of April 2014 02:05:40 PM



-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 22nd of April 2014 02:08:26 PM

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig

PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:

rofl.gifOk G2B, you get one of these today!



__________________

Paula



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:

"Some People Change"

His old man was a rebel yeller...
Bad boy to the bone.
He'd say: "Can't trust that other fella,"
He'd judge 'em by the tone of their skin.
He was raised to think like his Dad...
Narrow mind full of hate.
On the road to no-where fast,
Till the Grace of God got in the way.
Then he saw the Light an' hit his knees an' cried an' said a prayer...
Rose up a brand new man; left the old one right there.

Here's to the strong; thanks to the brave.
Don't give up hope... some people change.
Against all odds, against the grain,
Love finds a way... some people change.

She was born with her mother's habit...
You could say: "It's in her blood."
She hates that she's gotta have it...
As she fills her glass up.
An she'd love to kill that bottle,
But all she can think about,
Is a, a better life, a second chance,
An' everyone she's letting down.
She throws that bottle down.

Here's to the strong; thanks to the brave.
Don't give up hope... some people change.
Against all odds, against the grain,
Love finds a way... some people change.

Thank God for those who make it...
Let them be the Light.

(Let them be the light)
(Some people change.)
Here's to the strong; thanks to the brave.
Don't give up hope... some people change.
Against all odds, against the grain,
Love finds a way... some people change.
Some people change.

(Some people change)



__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.