The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I decided to go to a hotel I wasn't feeling safe at home plus I needed do some paper work for housing Medicaid exc. I left the hotel to get something to eat and left my phone at the hotel . My AH sober 18 months shows up at the hotel and see my car there . The only way he would of known that is he was snooping in my cell phone records. He asked the manager if I was there my AH was very demanding very angry didn't let the manager finish talking ran out to the doors at the hotel try to get in look in the windows to see if I was there . Then stormed threw the doors at the hotel managers office wanting a key demanding to see me. The manager feared for my life and his own and called 911 on him. Next I know the cops asking me if I new he was going to show up . I said no .had to file a report in that town then head back to my house and my AH was texting non stop . Police showed up at my house asking if I was safe . It seems to be my ah sobriety tuned into a obsession for me that I was not feeling safe at all. The kids are with me . My AH decided to tell my 11 year old that he going to kill himself because he won't go to jail . It's your mothers fault all of it . Will you miss daddy . My children are upset with me that I won't take him back . This morning AH ex texted me telling me he was turning himself into the police . He had a warrent out for his arrest in 3 towns . Today I'm still working on me even harder now . This is so hard for me to accept that alchol took his life then gave it back by his sobriety then took his life again in a form of obsession which gave him time in jail . I hope they can get him the help he needs in jail . I never wanted this to happen this was not the way live
This is actually good news in my book, and I am relieved he is going to jail, I think that is a safe place for him right now and yes... praying for peace, for all of you - that you all get the help you deserve. I watched my Father get taken away in hand cuffs on my 13th birthday for telling my mother he would kill himself if she did not come and live back home again. I spent my birthday looking at my humped over father in the break room of a psych ward.
Today - I am happy, healthy and free. The dysfunction I grew up in sucked, but it is part of what brought me to the peace I have found in the rooms... and today I'm grateful for all of it. I believe HP knows best... not me. I am living in acceptance for what is and was. I believe that the lower you go, the greater the capacity for love and joy and appreciation/gratitude for life you have when you get to the other side. Keep working on you Rose, and never give up on you. Show your children there is always hope... they will learn from you that people can over come anything with love and HP.
It was inevitable that that this difficult situation would come to a head. I am glad that you and the children are safe and that it was a 3rd party who saw how out of control your husband was, and called the police. You have a great deal of courage and wisdom from practicing the program and I salute you for how you are handling this new crisis.
Keep on taking care of yourself and if there is women' shelter in your community I would give them a call
Glad he turned himself in and if he hasn't I hope he does soon. If not, as Betty suggests, a shelter for you and the children may be the safest place for now. I wouldn't trust what he says. I'd trust only what he does. Lots of prayers, Wisdom.
Aloha Rose and you realize that sober isn't sane. Obsession is part of the disease and it doesn't mean only for alcohol. The alcoholic personality is very self centered and often to the extreme. You loving him unconditionally the same way you are loving Rose and for me that is what I also learned in Al-Anon. I was taught to detach with love and what a lesson that was. Allowing your alcoholic to be totally responsible for his own actions...right wrong or indifferent is unconditional love. Its good that you are using the tools available for you including police and public safety. Use it all to arrive at where you need to be. Keep coming back...thoughts and prayers for you and your family and your alcoholic. (((((hugs)))))
It sounds to me like your higher power is working to give you all a break, your husband included. The chaos of this disease is confusing and exhausting. Its a family disease and the whole family needs time to heal and build strength and it can only be done with peace. This crisis may be the turning point for all of you, for me it was a crisis that changed everything. He may get the help he needs wisdom but thats his path, your path lies with you and your children. First things first. Glad your here.x
