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Okay so my Ex-A had a visit today. We agreed to meet at 7:15 to do an exchange in a public place. I did this at the suggestion of the police and family violence. The police have told me to keep my doors locked. He shows up at my house at 5:30. He is banging on the door for a half an hour. Trying to use my keyless entry to get in the house. Then he goes to the garage. I think he got in there because he told me he saw my car at the exchange. This whole time he has my son in his truck. Finally, he gave up but he had been phoning and texting all day. I was also told just to not respond. I phoned the police to document the incident.
I must also note I actually think I handled it well. I did not go to fear and I did not allow him in. My gut is telling me something is wrong and he is trying to get me alone with him.
This is very worrying. He certainly does not sound under control. I'm very glad you did not let him in. I think calling the police would have been wise. It sounds very damaging for your son to be in the charge of a man who's out of control and potentially violent. How old is your son?
Please take good care of yourself!
-- Edited by Mattie on Thursday 17th of April 2014 01:49:52 AM
I agree with Mattie about calling the police at that time and I am glad you trusted your gut. It does seems as though he is wanting to harm you. Prayers for you and your son.
Where's the order of protection so when he is doing something like this, you can call the police and they have to pick him up. If you fear him trying to get you alone I would be on the phone right then and there.
Take care Truth and don't think he won't try something you least expect
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I did call the police they responded, but he had left. They told me we are in a "gray" area of the law because he technically has not done anything illegal unless we can prove that it is a pattern of behavior to use intimidation. They are just going to keep responding and documenting.
Truth, that's what I was told until an officer had direct interaction with my stbax .. it was actually the officer that immediately instructed me to go and get an OP. If he's got your child in the car with him that is such a no no on behavior. I'm glad you are taking care of you keep doing the next right thing.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
That he has breached an oral contract between you and he as to when and where and how to meet he can be picked up. Harassment, manipulation, control and body-language threats are threats, abusive behavior and against the law; call the police and have him picked up and let it come out in the wash. Having the child with him increases your anxiety and therefore the threat. I am a former alternatives to violence mens' case manager and even without a TRO I could get a person detained for "possible". If you know a police officer or two and if one of them or both are women...that is a tool...use it. Your property has a boundary around it which he is breaching. Prayers and wishes for you. Do the right thing and also let go and let God. God will do God's part...do yours. Keep coming back and letting us know and allowing us to support you. (((((hugs)))))
I don't understand why they keep telling me that then. I sent them the emails where we were going to meet. The officer told me next time I agree some place else and he just shows up. Phone again. Do they have to catch him?
That's how they catch him...might want to add some fear and personal concern for your safety when and if you call them the next time. We use to encourage and teach women under perceived threat to scream out loud and let others hear their voices. Practice that...louder!! (((((hugs)))))
Thank you Jerry. Most have flight or fight. I freeze. It felt like half an hour. It may have been 15 minutes. I saw his truck coming I ran into the house made sure all four doors were locked. Found my phone went to bathroom. Got the number. Then called. He was still here when I called and he was calling me three times while I was on the phone. Then he left.
