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ESH needed
(Preview)
I have enough of the program in me that I should be able to figure this out for myself but for some reason I just can't seem to. I came to Al-Anon to learn how to deal with my A/DA son and have done quite well or thought I had at learning when to let go, when to help, when to run for my life. My son is doing ok as...
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Mobirdie
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4
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381
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Going to my first f2f al anon meeting
(Preview)
In two hours I am going to my first real f2f al-anon meeting. I dread it so much, my stomach is in a twist and heart pounding. I am trying to stay leveled and calm. Because if let myself get into a spin I will end up feeling so overwhelmed that I will not go. But I really want to go. Specially because I have been...
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IceLady
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7
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915
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Major Breakthrough
(Preview)
I love alcoholics and ACOAs. Subconsciously I would pick someone who was emotionally unavailable and who had a fear of intimacy & abandonment, so when the relationship ended I could blame it on them. I was also afraid of the same thing. The alcoholic looked like the bad guy, but I was just as bad. He...
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kissers
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3
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285
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hit a new low
(Preview)
Dear all, Are there people out there that can really spend the evening with an AH who is not violent but just wants to talk to you all night. I do not feel at peace anymore. It used to not bother me and now either because I am working less program or because I am pregnant (3 months), I just can't be...
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renah
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6
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445
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got what i wanted now wondering what i really want???
(Preview)
Update... I have been on a mission to get laid as of late and finally accomplished that mission last weekend. I had it so worked up in my head how wonderful it was going to be and now I find myself missing my husband. I thought I knew what I wanted, no relationship, just have fun, etc. But now I realize tha...
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carolinagirl
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7
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398
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Active A's vs. Sober A's...progress not perfection.
(Preview)
Just a little observation for those out there praying for their active A's to get help toward sobriety: I lived with an active A for 7 years....I went through hell and back. Recently, I started dating an old friend who, after our first date,I found out happens to be in AA and has about 2 years sobriet...
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kicky
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5
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476
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Difficult Day
(Preview)
Today was the funeral for my friend. It has been a difficult day. I came home this evening to find the A here. Staying here. I was not a part of that decision. Apparantly it is for 3 or 4 days. I am too tired this evening to worry about going elsewhere. Will worry about that in the morning. Wanted to th...
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lilms
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4
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276
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God Bless The Teenager
(Preview)
When I look back at my own teen years, I have to admit it could have been worse... I didn't get into drugs and alcohol like so many of my peers did. That came later for me - but if I had discovered it as a teen, things could have been very bad. I was a loner then. I wasn't popular, but I didn't fit...
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barisax
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14
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646
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Look Where You Want to Go!
(Preview)
Hello ((((Family)))) I got home late last nite from a little trip out to New Mexico to go skiing. This was my first time to try to ski and I left with no small amount of nervousness about the whole idea, but also very excited to try yet something else new. Something I have let fear keep me from trying in the pa...
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david62
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11
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624
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I trained the dog
(Preview)
OK this may sound dumb but it has been bugging me. We have this cute little dog. It is my first dog. I read alot about the dogs and started teaching her tricks; sit, down, roll over, beg, shake, pray (she puts her little nose between he paws), dance (she hops on her hind legs in a circle), fetch, speak, how t...
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RainyJamie
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8
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412
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Things I dont get
(Preview)
Hi ppl. What does esh and other short words u guys use here mean anyways? Sorry I am from Iceland and english is not my native language.
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IceLady
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4
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386
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Hi, I'm new so bear with me please...here's my story..
(Preview)
I'm 46 my AH is 51. We've been married 25years.Looking back on it now I realize he was an A when we met. He was one of those "friendly" drunks, you know, never got angry or abusive when he was drinking. 10 years ago he became dissabled due to an accident at work,--- so enter the drugs. P...
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Anne123
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6
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467
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program of recovery
(Preview)
I was reading here that someones A is in recovery with no program. He turned his life around himself. That in itself IS the program. A personal program of recovery does not have to have AA in it. Most A's find they need AA. But some can decide enough is enough and work every day to choose not to use that...
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debilyn
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3
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363
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Feeling like a kept woman!
(Preview)
....I think I'd been doing pretty well lately dealing (or not dealing may be more like it) with my A and his stuff and dealing with my own. Acutally, it'd been going fairly well. He has been spending just about all the time here at the house instead of the place he'd been staying at (wh...
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jaja
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4
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515
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he's found, he's home, and he's safe
(Preview)
hes safe everything is fine
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marmare
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13
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513
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PRAYERS PLEASE NOW
(Preview)
My A went snowmobiling today with his friend, they got seperated and my A is lost in mountains. Search & Rescue were notified just hours ago....please pray for us... Hugs Mary
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marmare
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30
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625
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Sponsorship... what does it mean to you???
(Preview)
Sponsorship, I know it is a very personal thing. I know that it can be a very deep relationship. How would you describe your sponsorship relationship? How has it helped you? Do you use your sponsor as a dumping ground... and is it ok to do that? Is there anything you can suggest to keep a stong relationshi...
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sandie123
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2
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257
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Remembering Mark
(Preview)
Today I am incredibly sad. I cannot imagine this community without this wonderful gentleman. My partner did not know him so is not comprehending my sadness. For those who are interested here is the link to a description of human good. A tribute to Mark. http://www.wellandtribune.ca/webapp/si...
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lilms
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7
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368
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51 hours of hell
(Preview)
((((Family)))) On the 22nd my Grandson went missing from a behavioral health center. He was there to deal with some anger and behavioral issues. He wasn't there but 12 hrs. before he fled. He was in a strange town and had no friends there. He just turned 13 in Dec. and is very small for his age, only 89...
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Christy
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15
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622
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Writing a new song...
(Preview)
It's called... My life is so much easier with this restraining order against you! and it goes... Although putting you in jail would make me sad and blue... To myself and the kids I must be true.... It's so much easier when I don't hear your voice I wish that you had given me another choice Qu...
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carolinagirl
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4
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256
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First time post
(Preview)
Hello, I have not been here before I have been to the chat a number of times in the last 3 months. I am not really sure what the format is here on the message board, but a little about me... I am a mom to 3 chidlren, andmy husband is an alcohalic. That was the hardest thing for me to accept, because my mom is a r...
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slpmom
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8
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371
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He came to see me. Feels different now.....help
(Preview)
My A has been staying in a raunchy little motel just a walk away from me. See, your secrets catch up with you. He was not supposed to be living with me, and did for a Long time, until a little over a week and a half ago. Someone actually turned me and him in. I believe this was divine intervention. I was doing so...
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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358
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just an update...looking for support...
(Preview)
So my non-drinking Ah has been gone a week. I took our 2 year old son away to visit my family this weekend. Ah came back to the house to take care of our dog, after I had sent an email asking if he would. My son and I had to come back early tonight due to a forecasted storm that could leave us stranded. I called Ah a...
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Rora
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6
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421
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Thoughts about detachment
(Preview)
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. --Bill Cosby "Oh, how I wish my dad would get sober." "Oh, how I want my friend to get help with her eating problem." "Oh, how I wish I could make my mom understand." When we become...
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Tiger2006
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2
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463
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I lived "in" this weekend.
(Preview)
My Ah is only a week clean and he knows that I am filing for a divorce and have already talked to the attorney but he wanted to come and see me and the kids so I let him. He knows my rules so he was not drinking. Even though it was only a weekend........it was the BEST weekend we have ever had. We took the kids to a b...
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Friendofyours
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2
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769
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Trying so hard to learn to live with it....
(Preview)
.....but somedays?..................to the moon A (that's not Alice), to the moon!!!! I am quiet tonight, it drives him crazy but I know if I tell him what is wrong it will start the attitude and arguing. I JUST want to stay quiet so leave me alone Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. But if I say that .....
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puzzle
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3
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377
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a small prayer request if I may.....
(Preview)
This evening, is the first court date of my charge of truancy. If you could all say a small prayer for me for tomorrow night. Not that everything works out they way I want it to, but maybe something similiar to my prayer. I will ask my HP to guide my words and actions tomorrow evening, so that I can be a vehic...
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bobump
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19
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674
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Caught AH husband in a lie
(Preview)
(((Hello Everyone))) I have been having a problem letting go of something that I found out over the weekend. My husband and I have been back together for a few months after months of seperation. While we were seperated I went out a few times with my girlfriends. It wasn't like I was going out to tr...
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JulieLynn
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7
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660
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prayer needed for a friend
(Preview)
Please say a quick prayer for my friends family, sorry cannot give ya the details. Josey
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jrtjosey
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16
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1074
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Granchild
(Preview)
I am new to Al-Anon and couldn't get to a meeting tonight. I am feeling pretty crazy right now. I filed for temporary custody of my granddaughter yesterday. She is 10 months old and I never even considered raising another child. I am filled with worry for my daughter and fear of the future. I d...
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GrandmaNellie
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6
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406
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I'm writing a song...
(Preview)
It's called .. my life is easier when you're in jail! LOL He goes to court today. I'm going out of town. Why does this feel all too familiar????
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carolinagirl
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4
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344
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hoping to get to f2f meeting this week
(Preview)
Yes, I have reached bottom and am hoping to get to a face to face meeting this week. Yes the ex-A has reached havoc in my life yet again. On saturday last while in charge of our thirteen year old son, he threw him out of his jeep in the middle of a 6500 acre estate, with woods, lakes etc and Patrick was missing f...
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maire rua
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1
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305
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Fear...humility....faith
(Preview)
Hello ((((friends)))) Had a revelation about myself this morning I thought I would share.Might help someone else. It's this whole 'codependency' thing.I know that word is thrown around alot and some people think it does not even exist.Here's the Miriam Webster definition.......
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drucilla06
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5
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497
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Another transmission from planet alcoholic
(Preview)
Email: 'if you feel like it please call me at work' Phone: 'Can you talk?' 'No.' Text message: 'I just want to see where we are at, is it over?' ?!@!#$%??? Hello? What planet is he on?? 'It feels like it's over but I still love you, is it over?' I reply &...
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mama_nz
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4
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409
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I feel torn between my A and family/friends
(Preview)
Sometimes I want to crawl into a shell and never get out. My A and I are working on our relationship/marriage and at times I feel very torn, like I am caught in the middle and I have to choose, but feel I shouldn't have to choose. A few weeks ago my A and I were in our counseling session and I found out ther...
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albertarose
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5
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444
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New- need some advice/suggestions
(Preview)
Hi! I am glad that I found this site. I read some of the posts, and finally don't feel alone. Someone else knows what I am going through. I am 8 1/2 months pregnant, and contemplating leaving my husband. I dont know how much more foolishness I can take. I never want to go home if I know he's there, be...
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mrshunter
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8
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564
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The next time someone says something about your "friends"...
(Preview)
Do not choose bad friends. Do not choose persons of low habits. Select good friends. Be discriminating. Choose the best. -Dhammapada 78 I hadn't any clue about friendships when I came here. But automatically, I realized y'all were friends. You cared. And I hadn't any idea why. If you kn...
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Tiger2006
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5
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893
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letting Go and letting God
(Preview)
I haven't posted on the message board in a long time, but it is a great tool to use. I'm currently unable to get into the chatroom which has become one of my main tools next to utilizing my home group and sponsor. I've been in al-anon for some time now and I never grow weary of hearing another sh...
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java
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3
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638
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Who's the Birthday Girl??????????
(Preview)
Just when you thought I wasn't listening (ha ha ha) but I remembered. Today is Tiger's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope y'all join me in wishing her a very happy one. Love ya Sarah, Maria
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Maria123
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12
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487
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Oldie but Goodie
(Preview)
HELLO OLD FRIEND! HELLO OLD FRIEND: I'VE COME TO VISIT ONCE AGAIN. I LOVE TO SEE YOU SUFFER MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND SOCIALLY. I WANT TO MAKE YOU RESTLESS SO YOU CAN NEVER RELAX. I WANT YOU TO BE JUMPY, NERVOUS, AND ANXIOUS. I WANT YOU TO BE CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED SO THAT YOU CAN'T THINK C...
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Demilas
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2
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389
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New Here...My Story
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I'll start with a little info on myself. I'm 24, self employed (cleaning service) mom to 3 wonderful children. They are 7, 5, and 3. older 2 from previous relationship, 3yr old from current. We live in Sunny Central Florida. Going way back.....I had to grow up pretty fast,...
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TryingToCope
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3
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363
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Letter to my A
(Preview)
Any feedback on this is appreciated. My hope is to either read this to him or mail it to him. He is currently in jail. Dear T, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I know this is a bad time, but this is something I need to tell you. We have been threw quite a bit (I realize now from the very beginning of our r...
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Leetle
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8
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470
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Just as I suspected...... hmmm.
(Preview)
My AH left my house at 4:00 on Monday afternoon. Leaving for good. He was supposed to go to his sister's in Arkansas, a 14 hour drive from here. He loaded up his clothes, his car onto his trailer, hooked it to his truck & off he went. I suspected that he hadn't left town yet. I thought that i...
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QOD
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8
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1054
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It just slipped out
(Preview)
I was having lunch with a group from class and we talked about going out for a drink when the class was over. I said that I rarely drank because my husband was an alcoholic. Everyone was kinda quiet, then one asked me if he was the kind of alcoholic that was sober or the kind that was still drinking. I said he w...
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RainyJamie
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15
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661
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Reality hurts
(Preview)
I am now in a place where I see the A lied from day one of our relationship. When I met him he had a suspended license for a DUI. He never disclosed that to me. He lied about his exgirlfriend (he sung that she was the drug abuser). He lied about why he left his last apartment. I am sure they got fed up with his a...
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maresie2
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8
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499
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i knew just by the way the keys were laid
(Preview)
i knew just by the way the keys were laid that he would not be coming back tonight. they were sitting on the desk atop a piece of white paper, as if to say....., i won't be back and he wasn't. he did call though, and, knew by the tone of his voice that this would be a two day or a three day or a week binge. h...
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jewely
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6
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465
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room to breathe
(Preview)
Hello All, AH is gone to detox and then to rehab for a month. The process to get into detox and rehab is enough for anyone to drink/drug, LOL. I am looking forward to a good nights sleep and some peaceful days. I am really working on the one day at a time, no projecting, no expectations. He is safe tonight, di...
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evey
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3
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351
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changing every day
(Preview)
Hi everyone, As I'm recovering I notice more and more people are dropping out of my life, and this is scary. My sister tried to make me talk about a family issue that I don't want to discuss. She was so insistant. I ended up walking out rather than argue with her. I felt I did the right thing. But no...
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annmarie
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3
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308
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What a morning...
(Preview)
Well my A b/f got one month taken off of his sentence today, which means he still has at least one more month left. He meanwhile was sure he was getting out today and wanted me to go to his court date. What makes matters extremely complicated for me is that I work where he goes to court. That is a whole othe...
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Leetle
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7
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460
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Toxic
(Preview)
This song (although it's Britney Spears) has been stuck in my head lately: Baby, can’t you see I’m calling A guy like you Should wear a warning It’s dangerous I’m fallin’ There’s no escape I can’t hide I need a hit Baby, give me it You’re dangerous I’m lovin’ it Too high Can’t come down Losing my head S...
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mama_nz
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1
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251
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Don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not but...
(Preview)
I just can't do this anymore. I'm packing my bags and going back to my hometown on Friday. I just can't keep living this way....which is not living at all to me. My AH is a good man when not drinking, but he drinks every day and I cannot depend on him to follow through on anything he says to me, s...
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Wilted
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11
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552
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Don't fit the stereotype
(Preview)
I need to find a way to kick an alcohol problem that has been a part of my life for over twenty years. The reason I do not fit the stereotype is I am not abusive when I drink, I have had no DUI's, I have not lost a job due to drinking and am in a marraige full of love and respect. The problem is I drink every day a...
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kdk31760
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9
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575
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New prospectives on flattery--surprise!
(Preview)
"Critism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first--who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonis...
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Tiger2006
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6
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558
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online sponsor
(Preview)
I would really appreciate a online sponsor. Just the every day "stressors" get me down! Not really having problem with "A" son-I am a "people-pleaser" with my Adult children-and I get tired of it. I have 3 sons-32/33/34. Now I know "a son's a son-till he...
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meagain
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1
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279
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A Newbie's venting
(Preview)
Hey All, I'm so glad that I found this board Right now I'm stuck in a valley I got married over a month ago and moved quite a distance from my family. I knew that this time would be hard, but the forknowledge of that hasn't eased my feelings. I've been in /AlateenAl Anon...
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AliveandRecovering
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7
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465
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The Boundaries are becoming clearer
(Preview)
(((MIP Family))) In living with an A and trying to have a full harmonious life it can sure cause the boundary lines to get fuzzy. My boundary lines have gotten criss-crossed. So I'm going back to the drawing board and re-teaching myself what a boundary is. What is my property line and what is my A...
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twinmom2
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4
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554
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My AH is gone, already there's been a shift...
(Preview)
My AH is gone. That's sad. For me. For him. For our son. But the shift I am already noticing in myself is something I couldn't have predicted. How ironic. The AH's wife (me), who has been queen of manipulation trying to predict the outcomes, found a gift in the outcome when she stopped...
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Rora
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4
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434
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Unknown Territory
(Preview)
This may be premature, but... I think I may be in the beginning stages of a relationship. As I've shared here before, it has been a long time, and I've only had one "real" relationship in my life which resulted in a decade long marriage and ultimately, divorce. At my last f2f meeti...
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barisax
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10
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349
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I hope I can stay out of the disease...mine and his
(Preview)
Hi friends, I haven't posted in awhile. My AHsober keeps his distance. When he does call it of course is all about him - what he has done, what he wants to buy, how busy he is helping everyone else. We are taking a trip tomorrow to see our son in the military. Long trip in the car but I think that our son nee...
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nmike
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1
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370
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Anyone else here still apply for God's job? Anyone? Anyone?
(Preview)
It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are. --Unknown If it is hard to adjust to our age. How much harder it must be to realize we can't even run our own life with any degree of competence. Until we get used to that idea we will keep having living troubles. Accepting our incompetence doesn&...
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Tiger2006
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8
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491
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