Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serendipity · serendipity

I first wanted to say that our entertainment industry lossed a great singer last night, beverly stiles. She made opera accesible and entertaing. She was the best soprano americahas ever produced. She will be missed. But don't they say that divas never die they just become the ledgend.....I guess I...

serendipity · serendipity

Someone said this at a meeting tonight. Because if you don't forgive, you can't detatch because you'll keep getting sucked back in. It made sense to me. Another good reason to forgive. My problem is my motive for forgiving. Last year when my A was relapsing I had so much compassion for him and his diseas...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- Just wanted to update on how things are going in my world. I looked back on my profile and saw that I have been a member here since March of 2005-- so much has happened since that time. I know that I could have never gotten thru it all without learning about alanon. My addict(alcohol and var...

realestatepup · realestatepup

Thanks to everyone who replied (and viewed) my posting about detaching. It's not what I thougt it was. Wierd, huh? I am a total hard-ass about certain things. One of those things is when people I am very close to and love relapse. Even though I have been sober for over three years, go to meetings, identif...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I was surprised how my six year old spoke to him, both girls did. They said "dad, do you not like us anymore? Because you promised you would come this weekend and you didn't. You lied" I was like oh wooooooow! He said "it's a long story, I'll tell you later" and my daughter said &quo...

Kim65 · Kim65

I think yesterday I finally got some energy back. It's a weird feeling, feeling essentially good, reasonably hopeful, and yet having NO ENERGY. I have always had a hard time reading my body's messages to me, and accepting it's needs. So I'm chillin' in a nice clean house and get a call from the sheri...

david62 · david62

Hi (((((Family)))))) Well I did it! Yesterday evening I told my story for the first time at a Speaker Meeting. It was an amazing experience, I highly recommend it!! The meeting was in San Antonio about an hour and a half from where I live and I and some friends from my home group drove over. We went a little...

gimmpy · gimmpy

My daughter was camping out with friends, and they were all partying. She's 19 and another 18. Her other frined who is 17 over-dosed on cold medicine and is in a coma. His girl friend is only 15, so my daughter and the 18 were told taht they may be charged with endangering the wellfair of a minor. She"...

confused · confused

Boundaries are a great thing, but what if they are not respected. So what happens when they are not respected. Wouldn't it be great if we set a boundary and the A actually agreed to it. I have been on a long road with my AH and feel as though I am nearing an end, at least to the road I have been on. I spoke to a...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I need some opinions / experiences any of you've had in this regard: My emotions are off the wall. Sometimes I think that I need help, medication, something. But then I think, there's no possible way this is going to be helped as long as I'm with AH or at least as long as he's still in the throws of Aism. I'm e...

Diva · Diva

A few days ago, in a post of mine, I responded in a rather unkind way to your reply to me. Looking back, I know I took your answer all wrong, and read into it that which was not intended to be there. I am sorry. Best wishes, Diva -- Edited by Diva at 22:42, 2007-06-30

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, only for a week to see my mom in another state. The A is not going, I will be 900 miles away. We have not made love in almost 2 months. He's not seeing anyone else, he is always home, or just across the street with his A friend (and his wife.) This morning, I laid in bed when I should have been up, hoping t...

DT1221 · DT1221

Hello (((Everyone))). I am in Great need of some EH&S today. My mind is taking over and all I want to do is cry. i know this is not a bad thing as it helps to cleanse the soul but I need to get through my day. My dilemna is that now that my A is in AA and making all kinds of new female and male friends. I feel left...

gardengal · gardengal

I can remember the days when I couldnt say "no" even though I didnt want to do a particular thing. I was a people pleaser and sometimes still am. I wanted people to count on me, I wanted to be the one they came to with problems , and you know I thought I knew all the solutions. Barely even knowing...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I adore so many people here but I wanted to say out loud how much I appreciate Twinmom. She's pretty much in my boat and understand and she takes the time to make sure I am ok. She's just really special. That's why this board isn't like any other. People genuinly care about one another and even though we do n...

John · John

Rose and I are pretty excited about our wedding that is right around the corner. July 7th, 2007. Just days away. Our families will be sitting in the same rooms for the first time... oh gawh... two dysfunctional families celebrating with us LOL Friends from Al-Anon, AA and NA will be present... we a...

ditto · ditto

I've been doing some soul searching. Prior to being married to an a I never really thought about the problem, or how many people might be addicted, or how many people might be effected by someone else's addiction. However, since I joined al-anon and began counting the numbers, it just seemed too vas...

karrele · karrele

I've taken 15 steps backward I believe. My husband got out of rehab last Monday and stayed at my house ( we've been separated since April) for the week until he could move into the halfway house on Saturday. Everything was great. He was going to his meetings, we were getting along. We even went to the park...

karrele · karrele

I've taken 15 steps backward I believe. My husband got out of rehab last Monday and stayed at my house ( we've been separated since April) for the week until he could move into the halfway house on Saturday. Everything was great. He was going to his meetings, we were getting along. We even went to the park...

debilyn · debilyn

hello, well you guys know I have been feeling very rough. Ok I am eating the way I am suppose to since Thursday. Feel absolutely awful. Like living with the flu, which I rarely get. stomach flu. The med is called,"Metforman" I have to take it twice a day with food. plus I have my vitamins and min...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am so much better in a crisis than I am in everyday life. Now the A is not homeless. I am not in imminent danger of pennilessness and leading a tolerable existence I can't sit still.. I want it all tomorrow. I know this is one of the traits that leads me towards the A. I will have to do a lot of work on h...

twinkie · twinkie

I'm feeling a bit uneasy - after the past 4 weeks of binging my A finally made it to a rehab center last Friday. He is in a safe place and I feel a sense of relief now. But now the hard part, I finally spoke to him today by phone and once again reiterated the message I've been saying all along...."I love...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wanted to say hi to everyone, I haven't posted in a little bit. I am alive and had a great 4 day vacation from my kids 2 at a fancy hotel for a conference and 2 at home alone. It was fabulous and the first time I have been away from them for a long long time. My life is in slight turmoil at the moment, I may h...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Right now outside of the computer lab, the emergency sirens for the university/local AFB are blaring. It's no emergency; it's the first Monday of the month. The first Monday of the month, the university, the local governments, and the local AFB go through the emergency catastrophe procedures, go...

ShelBell · ShelBell

So my sober AH was pouring himself a glass of iced tea last night, in a huge glass mug. He looked at the mug for a moment and said "I never did use this for it's intended purpose." So I said "What purpose was that?" "Well, it was supposed to be my drinking mug when I went TDY.&...

realestatepup · realestatepup

Hi everyone.... I am new to Al Anon but not to AA. I am sober 3 years and counting. But, the person I am in a relationship with is a chronic relapser! I am trying to let go, let him hit bottom, but..... HOW!!! This whole stupid love thing keeps getting in the way! I hate that feeling in the pit of my stomach when...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Got a call Friday, as I was pulling into a parking garage to help set up for City Folk. It was my step dad. Yes, mom and he were still coming down...and they were having a "pre-4th of July BBQ", complete with steaks on the grill. Now, those of you who know me pretty well know nothing signs my RSVP f...

kissers · kissers

My father (the A) and I haven't spoken to each other for a year. This was my choice. He would always make fun of women in front of me, criticize everything I did, and can become quite violent at times. He would always try to get me to take care of him when he is quite capable of taking care of himself. I don't li...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

His Addiction's Done She's sittin' in the livin' room Knowin' all his friends, Think she's crazy, Cause she can't stop callin' him. They don't have a clue, What his addiction's done. He comes home trippin' off somethin', She's got no idea where he's been, Comin' into bed he'll rub all over her, N' if sh...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I got ready for work this morning as usual, but right when it was time to leave, the AH said he had to go to the ER because something was wrong with his arm. I saw it sort of flop around when he tried to do things and hang limp. I was worried. I called into work (first time ever) and went to the ER where the doctor b...

maresie2 · maresie2

Well the saga with my codependent neighbor continues. She has kicked up a huge fuss about the kitchen so only she can cook her huge meals for her entourage. She left a really cyptic public note for me which I didn't appreciate. So now I have taken to just saying "hello" to her no more no less....

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Yo Roomies)))))))))))) Well, I am working my days on, and my regular partner is on holiday for a few weeks. Which means I am running the rota (Work in the community, care assistant), with different people everyday. I am the one who is showing direction to these people. They are all ag...

dcathem · dcathem

I just want to say thank you to this community for being here. I found you on a google search and looked through many of the postings and realized that my story isn't all that different and I'm not crazy or overreacting. My A started on another drinking spree last week...actually, since December I'...

pabell · pabell

Our son was accepted into a boot camp. It was completely his choice, he wants to go. This isn't one of those that you put your kids into, they have to want to go, and they can not be in any trouble with the law. I think mainly for him its the credit recovery part. He will be gone for 22 weeks Anyways...it's...

Please Read · Please Read

I wanted to appologize to anyone that I hurt or made feel uncomfortable. I am VERY VERY sorry. I was online last night with my son and we went threw something online that made me uncomfortable. I remember a few of my posts that I made that were written in the past. I was really confused back then and believe...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((Everyone)))) The other day while cutting the grass, I looked at my house and thought, God please let us stay here a while longer and if that's not be be then please give me the strength to accept it. It's just a feeling that I keep having. When we built this house it was all for the A....I ended up h...

serendipity · serendipity

I am really mad at AA. I have been mad at "them" before but I haven't let go of the resentments yet. I am wondering why. Why do I always have to be mad at someone? My mother, my ex, AA. Today it is AA. I used to go to open AA speaker meetings and it would about kill me to have to clap for the chip handout...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

The other day when ah and I talked (yelled) I explained that I wanted to do the divorce as civil as possible but he had to keep throwing things into the fire and one of them has me so mad. He seems to think that since he calls himself a "recovering alcoholic" that he will be able to take the kids on t...

maresie2 · maresie2

Years ago many moons before the A I had a boyfriend from Australia. At some point in our relationship his mother invited me out there to stay. She lived by the Great Barrier Reef. I was tremendously excited. On the way back I was going to stop in Bali. It was a trip of a lifetime. At a certain point the th...

debilyn · debilyn

Have been working hard on me since last summer to get healthier. My AH hurting me so badly, well the disease, thru me, then losing my daddy then my mom... was way too much. Have not felt right since then. Found out I have type 2 diabetes, and some metabolic disorder. All my joints are inflammed. Plus I shru...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Brain Scans Reveal Why Meditation Works Melinda Wenner Special to LiveScience LiveScience.comSat Jun 30, 1:35 PM ET If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. var lrec_target="_blank"; var lrec_URL=new Array(); lrec...

kiddo · kiddo

Matt has 8 more days in rehab. I'm absolutely starting to lose it over here. I'm in almost constant physical pain because I miss him so much. He couldn't call me yesterday because he did something to lose his phone privilege, and he didn't call tonight even though he was supposed to (I learn this through...

david62 · david62

Hello (((((Family))))) I received information from our chairperson, Maria, that the monthly MIP Business meeting for July, which was scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday, the 1st) has been postponed for 1 week. We will have the meeting on next Sunday, July 8th. Sorry for any inconvience this causes any...

debilyn · debilyn

Was going to write this private, but decided owed this to be in public. I have thought off, and on about a post I responded to Friend of yours. Took me a bit, however, I apologise for upsetting her. Does not matter it was not intended to, what matters is, it did. I have never had this happen before and have l...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I don't even know where to begin. I have no idea if I am being lied to or if he's telling the truth about being sober. But he's done some very hurtful things that are small in his eyes but mean things to me. He left the bank empty and it was the twin girls sixth birthday. How could you do that to them? He called an...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

AH has court today. He had a DWI from last December - his Lawyer post-poned the hearings several times (cause he wanted to get paid). It's been hard for AH to scrounge the xtra $$ to pay everything. I honestly have no idea what he's paid & what he hasn't as far as the fines and probation stuff. I guess th...

java · java

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and leaves duck feathers everywhere, maybe it's just a duck......or A. I think we've heard this adage before, yet still I tend to forget, especially if the duck isn't ddrinking, the duck feathers make less sense, but they are still duck feathers (isms). I lo...

kissers · kissers

I know Alcoholism is a disease, but deep down I never truly believed it until recently. My grandmother should have been in Alanon. She was always the enabler, martyr, and people pleaser. She married 2 alcoholics. She is now 84. She has been back and forth to the hospital this year atleast 12 times. It ha...

Kim65 · Kim65

I hate it when I'm right. When I went into town to gas up before going down to the courthouse for the restraining order, the A suddenly comes at me from the parking lot. "I'm taking the car," he stated, and opened the car door to get in! Not happening, I had the keys in my pocket. I called 911 fro...

gimmpy · gimmpy

It was always easier to know what the right thing to do is, when it's not your own kid. My 19 year old dropped out of college, and got fired from her job for always being late, taking too long of breaks and what ever else she's not telling me. She had moved out but now has no money so I let her come home. i said I w...

serendipity · serendipity

4 years ago, 4 weeks after I had baby #3, I found emails from the woman my husband was having an affair with. I was beyond devestated. I moved out, with my 3 kids. He and I went to counsling, he relapsed into his crack addiction, he didn't end things with her right away, although he was telling me the entire...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Everyone))))) Well, I made it back home late yesterday from an eleven day adventure out to Florida to go see Mickey Mouse. I went with some friends, sixteen of us in all. I had a really fabulous time. And am so very worn out! If there is an attraction in any of the 4 disney parks or the two universa...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) I had heard the phrase, " Expectations are premeditated resentments" here once before and heard it again this week in a F/F meeting. I hadn't really a clue about what it meant until this past week. I knew Wednesday I had to get to a meeting. I had three days of turmoil in the h...

ally · ally

Guys..... I saw this and thought It was a great help to me.....Gods will, Is something I struggle with from time to time.... Hope It help some of you understand it...... God's Will God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

In this way I seriously need to detach. My AH has never been financially wise, and now that he his an active A, he's downright dumb (financially). Not too long ago I consolidated a few of his mounting credit debts into one low interest loan with a five-year payoff plan. It's a joint account, in both of our...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...

Loupiness · Loupiness

So, I don't really get it. What does it mean to say even though the A is gone, the ism remains, and that Aism is just a symptom? What are all the other symptoms of the disease? My Ah (sober 5 mos) has claimed that he does not want Aism to define him and has said he is the same person he was (in a coversation abo...

Kim65 · Kim65

The chemical assays done on the paraphernalia found here at the house showed no methamphetamine. The plate full of pot is a misdemeanor, so the county jail will release him tonight. The sheriff called to notify me which I greatly appreciated. If they issued a warrant in Spokane county for 'failure...

Diva · Diva

Once in a while I will notice a misspelled word or a poorly worded sentence in a post I have already made, and go into the post to edit it. Don't want to look like an idiot! LOL! Well, I can no longer find the "edit" feature at the top of my posts. Wha happint??????????

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi Family, I haven't been on in I don't know how long. I have been attending meetings in our room and trying to get to f2f meetings when I can. As the topic states, this is my last post as Dolphin123. I have changed my name in the room to Mandy123 and will begin posting as Mandy next time. I have been working on...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	goodbye to bubbles off topic (Preview) I first wanted to say that our entertainment industry lossed a great singer last night, beverly stiles. She made opera accesible and entertaing. She was the best soprano americahas ever produced. She will be missed. But don't they say that divas never die they just become the ledgend.....I guess I...	serendipity	3	373	Jul 4, 2007 by Diva
	I have to forgive to detatch? (Preview) Someone said this at a meeting tonight. Because if you don't forgive, you can't detatch because you'll keep getting sucked back in. It made sense to me. Another good reason to forgive. My problem is my motive for forgiving. Last year when my A was relapsing I had so much compassion for him and his diseas...	serendipity	12	742	Jul 4, 2007 by DeeDee
	patience pays off (Preview) Hi all- Just wanted to update on how things are going in my world. I looked back on my profile and saw that I have been a member here since March of 2005-- so much has happened since that time. I know that I could have never gotten thru it all without learning about alanon. My addict(alcohol and var...	gknee	6	481	Jul 4, 2007 by Karilynn
	Starting to understand (Preview) Thanks to everyone who replied (and viewed) my posting about detaching. It's not what I thougt it was. Wierd, huh? I am a total hard-ass about certain things. One of those things is when people I am very close to and love relapse. Even though I have been sober for over three years, go to meetings, identif...	realestatepup	2	429	Jul 3, 2007 by realestatepup
	He talked to the kids. (Preview) I was surprised how my six year old spoke to him, both girls did. They said "dad, do you not like us anymore? Because you promised you would come this weekend and you didn't. You lied" I was like oh wooooooow! He said "it's a long story, I'll tell you later" and my daughter said &quo...	Friendofyours	1	276	Jul 3, 2007 by QOD
	Three for three (Preview) I think yesterday I finally got some energy back. It's a weird feeling, feeling essentially good, reasonably hopeful, and yet having NO ENERGY. I have always had a hard time reading my body's messages to me, and accepting it's needs. So I'm chillin' in a nice clean house and get a call from the sheri...	Kim65	9	546	Jul 3, 2007 by Kim65
	Yep, "The Screw" made an appearance (Preview) Hi (((((Family)))))) Well I did it! Yesterday evening I told my story for the first time at a Speaker Meeting. It was an amazing experience, I highly recommend it!! The meeting was in San Antonio about an hour and a half from where I live and I and some friends from my home group drove over. We went a little...	david62	11	841	Jul 3, 2007 by gardengal
	scared! (Preview) My daughter was camping out with friends, and they were all partying. She's 19 and another 18. Her other frined who is 17 over-dosed on cold medicine and is in a coma. His girl friend is only 15, so my daughter and the 18 were told taht they may be charged with endangering the wellfair of a minor. She"...	gimmpy	7	403	Jul 3, 2007 by gardengal
	boundaries...great concept but not always effective...back to the drawing board (Preview) Boundaries are a great thing, but what if they are not respected. So what happens when they are not respected. Wouldn't it be great if we set a boundary and the A actually agreed to it. I have been on a long road with my AH and feel as though I am nearing an end, at least to the road I have been on. I spoke to a...	confused	5	460	Jul 3, 2007 by lin0606
	Emotions (Preview) I need some opinions / experiences any of you've had in this regard: My emotions are off the wall. Sometimes I think that I need help, medication, something. But then I think, there's no possible way this is going to be helped as long as I'm with AH or at least as long as he's still in the throws of Aism. I'm e...	Gurl25	7	470	Jul 3, 2007 by Gurl25
	Apologies to gardengal. (Preview) A few days ago, in a post of mine, I responded in a rather unkind way to your reply to me. Looking back, I know I took your answer all wrong, and read into it that which was not intended to be there. I am sorry. Best wishes, Diva -- Edited by Diva at 22:42, 2007-06-30	Diva	3	402	Jul 3, 2007 by gardengal
	Leaving (Preview) Well, only for a week to see my mom in another state. The A is not going, I will be 900 miles away. We have not made love in almost 2 months. He's not seeing anyone else, he is always home, or just across the street with his A friend (and his wife.) This morning, I laid in bed when I should have been up, hoping t...	Becky1	9	493	Jul 3, 2007 by suzydawn
	looking for some EH&S to get me by (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))). I am in Great need of some EH&S today. My mind is taking over and all I want to do is cry. i know this is not a bad thing as it helps to cleanse the soul but I need to get through my day. My dilemna is that now that my A is in AA and making all kinds of new female and male friends. I feel left...	DT1221	7	578	Jul 3, 2007 by DT1221
	Can you say "No", and leave it as just an answer? (Preview) I can remember the days when I couldnt say "no" even though I didnt want to do a particular thing. I was a people pleaser and sometimes still am. I wanted people to count on me, I wanted to be the one they came to with problems , and you know I thought I knew all the solutions. Barely even knowing...	gardengal	10	816	Jul 3, 2007 by Karilynn
	Twinmom (Preview) I adore so many people here but I wanted to say out loud how much I appreciate Twinmom. She's pretty much in my boat and understand and she takes the time to make sure I am ok. She's just really special. That's why this board isn't like any other. People genuinly care about one another and even though we do n...	Friendofyours	2	378	Jul 3, 2007 by Alanoner
	Count Down To "Married" (Preview) Rose and I are pretty excited about our wedding that is right around the corner. July 7th, 2007. Just days away. Our families will be sitting in the same rooms for the first time... oh gawh... two dysfunctional families celebrating with us LOL Friends from Al-Anon, AA and NA will be present... we a...	John	16	766	Jul 2, 2007 by wp
	National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (Preview) I've been doing some soul searching. Prior to being married to an a I never really thought about the problem, or how many people might be addicted, or how many people might be effected by someone else's addiction. However, since I joined al-anon and began counting the numbers, it just seemed too vas...	ditto	0	282	Jul 2, 2007 by ditto
	No more sanity! Help!! (Preview) I've taken 15 steps backward I believe. My husband got out of rehab last Monday and stayed at my house ( we've been separated since April) for the week until he could move into the halfway house on Saturday. Everything was great. He was going to his meetings, we were getting along. We even went to the park...	karrele	4	382	Jul 2, 2007 by Friendofyours
	No more sanity! Help!! (Preview) I've taken 15 steps backward I believe. My husband got out of rehab last Monday and stayed at my house ( we've been separated since April) for the week until he could move into the halfway house on Saturday. Everything was great. He was going to his meetings, we were getting along. We even went to the park...	karrele	14	529	Jul 2, 2007 by debilyn
	off topic, need help, experience please (Preview) hello, well you guys know I have been feeling very rough. Ok I am eating the way I am suppose to since Thursday. Feel absolutely awful. Like living with the flu, which I rarely get. stomach flu. The med is called,"Metforman" I have to take it twice a day with food. plus I have my vitamins and min...	debilyn	13	605	Jul 2, 2007 by debilyn
	Want everything yesterday (Preview) I am so much better in a crisis than I am in everyday life. Now the A is not homeless. I am not in imminent danger of pennilessness and leading a tolerable existence I can't sit still.. I want it all tomorrow. I know this is one of the traits that leads me towards the A. I will have to do a lot of work on h...	maresie2	3	465	Jul 2, 2007 by Katy
	encouragement and thanks (Preview) I'm feeling a bit uneasy - after the past 4 weeks of binging my A finally made it to a rehab center last Friday. He is in a safe place and I feel a sense of relief now. But now the hard part, I finally spoke to him today by phone and once again reiterated the message I've been saying all along...."I love...	twinkie	2	387	Jul 2, 2007 by chris52
	I'm alive. (Preview) Just wanted to say hi to everyone, I haven't posted in a little bit. I am alive and had a great 4 day vacation from my kids 2 at a fancy hotel for a conference and 2 at home alone. It was fabulous and the first time I have been away from them for a long long time. My life is in slight turmoil at the moment, I may h...	carolinagirl	3	359	Jul 2, 2007 by Tiger2006
	"This is only a test..." (Preview) Right now outside of the computer lab, the emergency sirens for the university/local AFB are blaring. It's no emergency; it's the first Monday of the month. The first Monday of the month, the university, the local governments, and the local AFB go through the emergency catastrophe procedures, go...	Tiger2006	1	393	Jul 2, 2007 by maresie2
	An example of the distorted thinking (Preview) So my sober AH was pouring himself a glass of iced tea last night, in a huge glass mug. He looked at the mug for a moment and said "I never did use this for it's intended purpose." So I said "What purpose was that?" "Well, it was supposed to be my drinking mug when I went TDY.&...	ShelBell	7	914	Jul 2, 2007 by twinkie
	trying to detach (Preview) Hi everyone.... I am new to Al Anon but not to AA. I am sober 3 years and counting. But, the person I am in a relationship with is a chronic relapser! I am trying to let go, let him hit bottom, but..... HOW!!! This whole stupid love thing keeps getting in the way! I hate that feeling in the pit of my stomach when...	realestatepup	5	465	Jul 2, 2007 by beej
	Feeling quite guilt ridden this weekend...and I'm the one practicing HEALTHY behaviors!! (Preview) Got a call Friday, as I was pulling into a parking garage to help set up for City Folk. It was my step dad. Yes, mom and he were still coming down...and they were having a "pre-4th of July BBQ", complete with steaks on the grill. Now, those of you who know me pretty well know nothing signs my RSVP f...	Tiger2006	3	421	Jul 2, 2007 by beej
	Dad, the A (Preview) My father (the A) and I haven't spoken to each other for a year. This was my choice. He would always make fun of women in front of me, criticize everything I did, and can become quite violent at times. He would always try to get me to take care of him when he is quite capable of taking care of himself. I don't li...	kissers	2	389	Jul 2, 2007 by carolena
	His Addiction's Done (a poem) (Preview) His Addiction's Done She's sittin' in the livin' room Knowin' all his friends, Think she's crazy, Cause she can't stop callin' him. They don't have a clue, What his addiction's done. He comes home trippin' off somethin', She's got no idea where he's been, Comin' into bed he'll rub all over her, N' if sh...	Gurl25	3	399	Jul 2, 2007 by Gurl25
	Saturday Night Palsy (Preview) I got ready for work this morning as usual, but right when it was time to leave, the AH said he had to go to the ER because something was wrong with his arm. I saw it sort of flop around when he tried to do things and hang limp. I was worried. I called into work (first time ever) and went to the ER where the doctor b...	RainyJamie	3	413	Jul 2, 2007 by maresie2
	The Codependent neighbor saga (Preview) Well the saga with my codependent neighbor continues. She has kicked up a huge fuss about the kitchen so only she can cook her huge meals for her entourage. She left a really cyptic public note for me which I didn't appreciate. So now I have taken to just saying "hello" to her no more no less....	maresie2	2	420	Jul 2, 2007 by carolena
	GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS....LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((((Yo Roomies)))))))))))) Well, I am working my days on, and my regular partner is on holiday for a few weeks. Which means I am running the rota (Work in the community, care assistant), with different people everyday. I am the one who is showing direction to these people. They are all ag...	ally	8	623	Jul 2, 2007 by ally
	Thank you (Preview) I just want to say thank you to this community for being here. I found you on a google search and looked through many of the postings and realized that my story isn't all that different and I'm not crazy or overreacting. My A started on another drinking spree last week...actually, since December I'...	dcathem	5	444	Jul 2, 2007 by abbyal
	Feeling a tad bit bitter! (Preview) Our son was accepted into a boot camp. It was completely his choice, he wants to go. This isn't one of those that you put your kids into, they have to want to go, and they can not be in any trouble with the law. I think mainly for him its the credit recovery part. He will be gone for 22 weeks Anyways...it's...	pabell	2	341	Jul 1, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Please Read ALL (Preview) I wanted to appologize to anyone that I hurt or made feel uncomfortable. I am VERY VERY sorry. I was online last night with my son and we went threw something online that made me uncomfortable. I remember a few of my posts that I made that were written in the past. I was really confused back then and believe...	Please Read	2	582	Jul 1, 2007 by Jerry F
	Trying not to project (Preview) (((Everyone)))) The other day while cutting the grass, I looked at my house and thought, God please let us stay here a while longer and if that's not be be then please give me the strength to accept it. It's just a feeling that I keep having. When we built this house it was all for the A....I ended up h...	Lunamoth	4	445	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	What is this anger? (Preview) I am really mad at AA. I have been mad at "them" before but I haven't let go of the resentments yet. I am wondering why. Why do I always have to be mad at someone? My mother, my ex, AA. Today it is AA. I used to go to open AA speaker meetings and it would about kill me to have to clap for the chip handout...	serendipity	10	665	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	I have to have control. (Preview) The other day when ah and I talked (yelled) I explained that I wanted to do the divorce as civil as possible but he had to keep throwing things into the fire and one of them has me so mad. He seems to think that since he calls himself a "recovering alcoholic" that he will be able to take the kids on t...	Friendofyours	7	407	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	Well I'm not going to Australia after all. (Preview) Years ago many moons before the A I had a boyfriend from Australia. At some point in our relationship his mother invited me out there to stay. She lived by the Great Barrier Reef. I was tremendously excited. On the way back I was going to stop in Bali. It was a trip of a lifetime. At a certain point the th...	maresie2	5	2260	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	update (Preview) Have been working hard on me since last summer to get healthier. My AH hurting me so badly, well the disease, thru me, then losing my daddy then my mom... was way too much. Have not felt right since then. Found out I have type 2 diabetes, and some metabolic disorder. All my joints are inflammed. Plus I shru...	debilyn	4	396	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	Name it, claim it, dump it (as my sponsor would say) (Preview) Brain Scans Reveal Why Meditation Works Melinda Wenner Special to LiveScience LiveScience.comSat Jun 30, 1:35 PM ET If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. var lrec_target="_blank"; var lrec_URL=new Array(); lrec...	Tiger2006	2	693	Jul 1, 2007 by DeeDee
	Going Insane! (Preview) Matt has 8 more days in rehab. I'm absolutely starting to lose it over here. I'm in almost constant physical pain because I miss him so much. He couldn't call me yesterday because he did something to lose his phone privilege, and he didn't call tonight even though he was supposed to (I learn this through...	kiddo	6	389	Jun 30, 2007 by kiddo
	Business Meeting Postponed (Preview) Hello (((((Family))))) I received information from our chairperson, Maria, that the monthly MIP Business meeting for July, which was scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday, the 1st) has been postponed for 1 week. We will have the meeting on next Sunday, July 8th. Sorry for any inconvience this causes any...	david62	1	483	Jun 30, 2007 by wp
	Apology (Preview) Was going to write this private, but decided owed this to be in public. I have thought off, and on about a post I responded to Friend of yours. Took me a bit, however, I apologise for upsetting her. Does not matter it was not intended to, what matters is, it did. I have never had this happen before and have l...	debilyn	4	511	Jun 30, 2007 by debilyn
	I want to feel something (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I have no idea if I am being lied to or if he's telling the truth about being sober. But he's done some very hurtful things that are small in his eyes but mean things to me. He left the bank empty and it was the twin girls sixth birthday. How could you do that to them? He called an...	Friendofyours	5	599	Jun 30, 2007 by Friendofyours
	AH Court (Preview) AH has court today. He had a DWI from last December - his Lawyer post-poned the hearings several times (cause he wanted to get paid). It's been hard for AH to scrounge the xtra $$ to pay everything. I honestly have no idea what he's paid & what he hasn't as far as the fines and probation stuff. I guess th...	Gurl25	6	422	Jun 30, 2007 by Diva
	If it looks like a duck! (Preview) If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and leaves duck feathers everywhere, maybe it's just a duck......or A. I think we've heard this adage before, yet still I tend to forget, especially if the duck isn't ddrinking, the duck feathers make less sense, but they are still duck feathers (isms). I lo...	java	1	578	Jun 30, 2007 by Jerry F
	Neurological Diseases (Preview) I know Alcoholism is a disease, but deep down I never truly believed it until recently. My grandmother should have been in Alanon. She was always the enabler, martyr, and people pleaser. She married 2 alcoholics. She is now 84. She has been back and forth to the hospital this year atleast 12 times. It ha...	kissers	3	389	Jun 30, 2007 by java
	Update (Preview) I hate it when I'm right. When I went into town to gas up before going down to the courthouse for the restraining order, the A suddenly comes at me from the parking lot. "I'm taking the car," he stated, and opened the car door to get in! Not happening, I had the keys in my pocket. I called 911 fro...	Kim65	10	638	Jun 30, 2007 by Kim65
	wish I had an instruction book (Preview) It was always easier to know what the right thing to do is, when it's not your own kid. My 19 year old dropped out of college, and got fired from her job for always being late, taking too long of breaks and what ever else she's not telling me. She had moved out but now has no money so I let her come home. i said I w...	gimmpy	6	577	Jun 29, 2007 by SingingLeaves
	I think I am learning (Preview) 4 years ago, 4 weeks after I had baby #3, I found emails from the woman my husband was having an affair with. I was beyond devestated. I moved out, with my 3 kids. He and I went to counsling, he relapsed into his crack addiction, he didn't end things with her right away, although he was telling me the entire...	serendipity	5	447	Jun 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Back from Disney!! (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone))))) Well, I made it back home late yesterday from an eleven day adventure out to Florida to go see Mickey Mouse. I went with some friends, sixteen of us in all. I had a really fabulous time. And am so very worn out! If there is an attraction in any of the 4 disney parks or the two universa...	david62	10	687	Jun 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Expectations (Preview) (((Friends))) I had heard the phrase, " Expectations are premeditated resentments" here once before and heard it again this week in a F/F meeting. I hadn't really a clue about what it meant until this past week. I knew Wednesday I had to get to a meeting. I had three days of turmoil in the h...	twinmom2	4	617	Jun 29, 2007 by Jerry F
	GODS WILL (EXPLINATION) (Preview) Guys..... I saw this and thought It was a great help to me.....Gods will, Is something I struggle with from time to time.... Hope It help some of you understand it...... God's Will God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking...	ally	2	597	Jun 29, 2007 by Jerry F
	just lets the debt build up (Preview) In this way I seriously need to detach. My AH has never been financially wise, and now that he his an active A, he's downright dumb (financially). Not too long ago I consolidated a few of his mounting credit debts into one low interest loan with a five-year payoff plan. It's a joint account, in both of our...	RainyJamie	13	777	Jun 29, 2007 by RainyJamie
	The most painful part of steps 1/2/3 (for me) (Preview) There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...	Tiger2006	2	327	Jun 29, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Please explain (Preview) So, I don't really get it. What does it mean to say even though the A is gone, the ism remains, and that Aism is just a symptom? What are all the other symptoms of the disease? My Ah (sober 5 mos) has claimed that he does not want Aism to define him and has said he is the same person he was (in a coversation abo...	Loupiness	9	463	Jun 29, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	He might be getting out (Preview) The chemical assays done on the paraphernalia found here at the house showed no methamphetamine. The plate full of pot is a misdemeanor, so the county jail will release him tonight. The sheriff called to notify me which I greatly appreciated. If they issued a warrant in Spokane county for 'failure...	Kim65	6	487	Jun 29, 2007 by QOD
	Hmmmm...I can no longer edit my posts (Preview) Once in a while I will notice a misspelled word or a poorly worded sentence in a post I have already made, and go into the post to edit it. Don't want to look like an idiot! LOL! Well, I can no longer find the "edit" feature at the top of my posts. Wha happint??????????	Diva	9	540	Jun 29, 2007 by leo
	Last Post from Dolphin123 (Preview) Hi Family, I haven't been on in I don't know how long. I have been attending meetings in our room and trying to get to f2f meetings when I can. As the topic states, this is my last post as Dolphin123. I have changed my name in the room to Mandy123 and will begin posting as Mandy next time. I have been working on...	Dolphin123	9	680	Jun 29, 2007 by drucilla06
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