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setting aplan b or in other words not setting myself up
(Preview)
The holidays are almost on us and they are the time I had the worst time with the A. Last year on Thanskgiiving in my normal over reactive mode I struggled to make a huge feast for him. He went out got stoned, drugged whatever and couldn't even stand up. Yet somehow it was important to him that I spend weeks s...
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maresie2
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3
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475
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So Confused...
(Preview)
I'm not sure how to start this one, I've got a ton of thoughts running through my head, so if I start jumping around and not making sense...I'm sorry. :) My AH hasn't been home in nearly 2 weeks, his drinking has spiraled out of control. It is now to the point that he will walk to the bar, walk back to his place...
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CJC
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9
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489
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Oh God, Enough Already
(Preview)
Hello All, Well, let's see, I have lost my husband, children lost a father, my son lost his best friend a few weeks ago, he was like one of my own...he lived here most of the time. Financially devistated, Social Security owes me close to 10,000.00 said around 30 more days. My daughter who is only 17 just...
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Andrea12
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18
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605
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It sure does take time....
(Preview)
I hoped that I would recover more quickly than I have heard possible but I keep seeing again and again, how or why it takes time. When I was in denial, protecting my AH of consequences & not expressing any anger ad nauseum; the resulting therapies for children, marital, family etc I figgured had me a...
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ddub
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1
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415
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Why is my life taken over by her problem
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this and just looking for some answers from people that have gone through the same thing. Me and my girlfriend have been together for over two years. In that time i have been by her side through two rehabs and a dozen hospital visits. She knows that if she keeps drinking she will die but f...
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chef
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6
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624
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Round and Round
(Preview)
Do any of you ever find yourself surprised about behavior from you or your a that you know exists but keep hoping disappears? I wonder if is that is denial... Last night the kids and I were with some friends at their home. We were having pizza (and wine) and then all the kids were going to a haunted house....
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Loupiness
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12
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374
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My AH has been Fired
(Preview)
Hi all, It's been a while since I last posted. We move into our new apartment on this next Wed. - Halloween. It is cheaper and closer to work so I won't have to take the bus to work anymore. My Ah has 3 DUI's and lost his license 4 yrs ago and can't get it back until next year. I haven't gotten my licsence ren...
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CJ098
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7
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634
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Hubby did a dance on my pc tower. Will be back when I can.
(Preview)
Hi Family, Well I did it I asked my hubby to leave. He left Thursday morning. He went back to the house that afternoon while I was at work. He destroyed my tower to my pc and a few other things. I will be gone for a bit until I am able to get back online. My work donated a tower to me, but at the moment it is not worki...
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Mandy123
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6
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496
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husband keeps saying he wants to move out and my heart is breaking
(Preview)
Over the last ten days my husband has repeatedly said he wants to move out. He basically only sleeps here now, the rest of the time he's out drinking. I think he is seeing someone, carrying his cell phone with him everywhere (that's how I knew once in the past). I've attempted to be pleasant to him toda...
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Jocar
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5
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515
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travel concern
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new to your forum and am so grateful to have found you. My A is in the midst of a major relapse, and I had planned to visit my family halfway across the country next week. My main concern in leaving is that I'm afraid he will neglect our pets. I could try to arrange care for them, but I feel like that...
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caro
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4
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427
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New here:
(Preview)
I found this website when looking for my husband and thought I would join also. I would like to share my story....... My father was an alcoholic all of my life. He died last year and continued to drink until he died. My mother overcome prescription drug use when I was in my teens, but has been drinking f...
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dm0141
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6
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296
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Are They For Real????
(Preview)
(((Hi Roomies))) I was bored the other night, so I started googling people from my past. You know curious minds can be. I googled my ex, who had been arrested 6 times for DUI's and I found marijuana in his truck. Anyhoo, he was a volunteer for a recovery house. The recovery house had quoted him saying, &qu...
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kissers
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6
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454
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The strength to see it through...
(Preview)
So often I read, "God doesn't give us more to bear than we can handle." Kiddies, if God has anyhing to do with it, this is just not true. Otherwise no one would take a fatal overdose, jump off a high building, or blow his/her brains out with a 9mm pistol. I choose to believe that an HP, whatever y...
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Diva
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8
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619
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Overwhelmed...then break it down...
(Preview)
...to bite size pieces... Everything was getting on top of me. The house, the garden, the chores, the shopping, the correspondence, my responsibilities, even my friends, my programme. then a funny old saying came to mind... " Don't try to eat the whole elephant, instead start by nibbling it...
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Heartbroken
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3
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325
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totally angry "update"
(Preview)
My rant on Thursday about my DIL and keeping the grandbaby was good for my soul; I had to do it! The responses I received were pretty wise and y'all tried to see all sides to this thing. Sooo it is now Sunday afternoon. My son came Friday after work and has stayed all weekend being a good father to his child. N...
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omajoy
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3
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1058
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Missing my mom
(Preview)
I never thought that I could miss someone so much, to the point that I find no pleasure in any one else right now. I don't want to be around people, I don't want to go to work, but I do these things and resent these people. I resent having to deal with them, they aren't my family, they aren't people I care abo...
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Unsure
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8
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454
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Back to square one
(Preview)
Hello all, it has been about two years plus since I was last here. Just when all is well..it's not. Fiance and I seperated on October 15., his son is getting out of jail the day after Thanksgiving. His son had lived with us for three years at one point. He stole from us, robbed from us, caused major probl...
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justmeagain
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1
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465
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alanonese
(Preview)
I shared soething this morning that I wanted to share with others as those who heard it thought it made good sense for us to keep in mind at times Topics action v reaction, responsibility, serenity these are great topics for me today as most of you know one reason I am here is because I was detached f...
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norwood
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5
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605
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My Dad Called
(Preview)
Hi everyone. This is my first time here. I have read some of your posts and really appreciate all the honesty. I wanted to see if I could tell you something. I don't really know what to do about it. Life really can be so confusing. You see, my dad is an alcoholic. He left us years ago. Since then I have gotten s...
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Belladay
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2
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457
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Just can't get Control
(Preview)
Hello Friends, I just can't seem to find me, I got lost again in this horrible disease. I feel like it is all out of control. I can't seem to get a grip, everytime I seem to take one step forward, it seems like 10 back. I miss Chuck, am pissed at him for the damage he left this family in. I am still cleaning up...
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Andrea12
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11
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576
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Just for today... I will be patient
(Preview)
Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success. - Brian Adams We...
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rtexas
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4
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636
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Lonely but not alone and yet feeling the rejection...
(Preview)
...this is really hard for me to face, and yet I do face this every day. Today I felt very lonely but knew I was not alone and yet rejection tears me apart. Even so, I still felt very lonely because I am on my own here, in this house however I feel rejected because the telephone never rings, there are no emails...
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Heartbroken
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7
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476
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drug addicts compulsion....need answers!!!
(Preview)
I said yesterday that I always waited for the other shoe to drop. I came home late tonite from work and hubby and kids were at the fair. I always put my son's Adderall (Amphetamine) up when hubby comes home (works offshore 14 days/home 7 days) as courtesy to him because he is a drug abuser. I got meds out...
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dm0141
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5
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425
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no views or replies?
(Preview)
Hi posted 30 min ago no views or replies bit worried any answers?
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chick29
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3
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361
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Thank you for being here
(Preview)
wow, I am so grateful that I found this place and that all these great people are here. Really, this is yet another wonderful tool. Its my turn to do some meetings next week and I am going to do it on this site! I think its particularly helpful for me because I am so introverted and use isolation so much and a w...
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Jean4444
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2
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450
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totally angry!!
(Preview)
My ex-daughter-in-law has once again flabbergasted me! She divorced my son secretly (meaning we found out about it being final two weeks after the fact) due to his drinking beer every night and falling asleep.....no partying, no infedility, no job problems... so we didn't really understand it. Th...
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omajoy
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9
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350
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If this doesn't get him sober, nothing will!
(Preview)
Hi All, Life as we know it will be changing soon, and I am trying to stay faithful and out of the fear of what might be. My ah, a medical professional, entered himself into the Diversion Program. Essentially what this means is that a private company is going to manage his life to make darn sure he stays sobe...
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Loupiness
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4
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513
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Thankful today.....
(Preview)
Hi All and glad we are all together!!! What are you thankful for today? Too many times we forget to be grateful, and it is a lifesaver to remember to be grateful for what we have. Mine are: My family - There have been a few times where I could have lost loving family members and I am so grateful they are all s...
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hersh
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2
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233
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Trust in myself
(Preview)
As you all know where I am living is not the greatest. I live in a really super small space with too many animals. Most of my stuff is in storage. I have put out a lot of energy on looking for another space. I just put it out and really most of the time people say they don't want pets. An opportunity has come up fo...
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maresie2
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2
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354
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updated on Bubbles123
(Preview)
((((((((((Family)))))))))))))) I just want to thank you all for your love and support!! I came through my surgery real well and have been recoving at home since sunday... Thanks to Hp NO CANCER was found, But I had a BAD case of endometriois and they had to remove my appendix because of it being inflam...
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bubbles1990
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6
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303
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Welcome back!
(Preview)
Hi this week has deen pretty good. My brother came to stay with me, his wife had to work and she lives with her mother and father. They went to Las Vagas and I said I would watch my nephw. So they stayed with my husdband and I.When they got here my bother looked a little high, but it was my grandma's birthday a...
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Allie
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0
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263
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Feeling bored and restless
(Preview)
Today, actually for the past few days I have been feeling bored and restless. I don't know why, it's not as if I have a shortage of things to do, quite the opposite in reality but I'm still feeling like I'm missing something. I'm working and looking for a second job, selling stuff on ebay, hanging out wit...
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carolinagirl
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7
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532
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After the raging
(Preview)
It seems to me that I raged a tthe A for like 7 years, about his friends (who moved into the house lock stop and barrel) his family (who always came first), his money (he never had any), his hours (he was always at work he claimed then he claimed he never got paid), his decisions (usually nothing to do with me...
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maresie2
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5
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461
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response-ability
(Preview)
James Ray was one of the teachers in the movie "The Secret". Even if you have no clue what The Secret is about or who James Ray is, I think everyone can benifit from what he says in the following letter. October 22, 2007 4:45 PM Friends, At the time of writing, my home and office have been eva...
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Christy
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9
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600
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Hello
(Preview)
My name is bennett and I'm not in it!! At least that is what I keep telling myself.
I haven't been to a meeting in years, but I sure need one right now. My daughter and her two kids have moved in with my mother. They are all 200 miles away, but I get emails nearly every day from my mom. She tells me all about wha...
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bennett
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4
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450
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Prayers for California
(Preview)
((((((((Family)))))))), Just asking for prayers for our MIP families that are affected by the California fires. You're all in my thoughts and prayers. Here's hoping that you and your families are safe. Please include our brave firefighters, EMTS and safety officers who are working so hard to...
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Karilynn
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5
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870
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I don't think my husband will stay sober....
(Preview)
My husband got out of detox on Sunday. It is like living with a stranger. He barely talks to me, mopes around like he's lost his best friend - I guess he has - Vodka. It is very frustatrating and I am trying to be patient, which is why I am writing this - I can't talk to him. He tells me nothing. I don't know i...
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Chetch
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10
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3158
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What is wrong with me? Please help
(Preview)
If you read my laast post, you knw I am about ready to tell AH to move back home. Heres my problem. For the last couple of days when we have been together I have found myself being very needy, clingy sort of, wanting all his attention. Some background....Ah was emotionally abusive in the past, before I lef...
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verenda
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13
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633
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Update :-)
(Preview)
(((((Everyone))))) I haven't been here in a couple of weeks and so much has happened since then. LOT and LOTS of drama -- I won't bore you with it, lol. Anyhow, I do want to share with you that I was able to keep moving forward. I kept doing that next right thing. I put myself and the needs of the kids firs...
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Lunamoth
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7
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308
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PRAYER
(Preview)
years ago when i first came to alanon this prayer was in the beginers packet i was given. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, where there is hatred, let me sow love: where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith where there is depspair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where th...
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beaulahg
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2
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245
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WHAT TO DO ABOUT AN ALCOHOLIC NEPHEW
(Preview)
Dear Friends:
I don't know where to begin. My AH called me at work yesterday he wanted to ask me if we could have his 34 year old nephew also an alcoholic move in with us. He said the nephew was "reaching out" to him because he had lost his job and his sister was throwing him out of her house.
I s...
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cookie1971
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4
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954
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Think I am ready for sober AH to move back home
(Preview)
Hi everyone Have not been here in a while. Ah and I are doing real well, he picked up his 6 month chip on the 18th, He is still at the halfway house for recovering men, has been for 2 months now since he graduated Faith home in August. Also. he is faithfully attending meetings, 5 a week, his counseling ever...
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verenda
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7
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534
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Feeding the fire...
(Preview)
I have been thinking seriously about the responses I got about the A's emails and feeding the fire by replying to them. After thinking about that I started paying attention more. I had been sending nice replies to SOME of his emails that were matter of fact just providing information about what he wo...
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carolinagirl
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4
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439
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New here (long)
(Preview)
I am new here and don't know what to expect. My AH had an affair which I found out when "she" called me to give me all the gory details. Needless to say, it was awful. After I told him I would forgive him, he said he was leaving then he was staying then he was leaving, etc. He finally decided to sta...
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mecarolina
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6
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303
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taking actions
(Preview)
When I was with the A nothing was too much for me. All summer long I held him up. I paid for everything, food, shelter, clothes the works. Now I am having ot work more to pay for the credit I burned thorugh taking care of him. I find it pretty hard going to give this to myself. I want to sink into self ptiy or burn...
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maresie2
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6
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300
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MY BIRDIE IS SICK BAD AGAIN--pray please ESH PLEASE
(Preview)
MY BIRDIE ANGEL IS SO SICK AGAIN I don't know how much longer I can go on with this. I repaired her hernia burst with the quik stop and she was doing so well and then this morning she is lethargic, doesn't want to eat or drink. ( I had to hand feed and give her water in her mouth ).I am scared. I had to reapply th...
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hippietrippiechick
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7
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411
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A lil extra prayer for my Dad?
(Preview)
Hi (((family))) My Dad is having a stint/heart procedure today. It is a fairly simple procedure unless there is something more serious discovered. I just wanted to ask for a few extra prayers for him today. He is 81 yrs old, diabetic and has been committed to caring for my mother who had a stroke 19...
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Christy
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16
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509
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Its been a long time
(Preview)
Its been a long time since I've logged onto this forum. I hope everyone is doing well. Just to update you on my situation with my ex A B/F... As you may remember, him and I decided to rekindle our friendship about 6 months ago... Things were going GREAT!! We spent a lot of time together as friends doing r...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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3
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467
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Emails from the A
(Preview)
As most of you know my A just got out of prison about 2 weeks ago and he has been emailing me. Usually they are boo hoo poor me, when can I see my kids, etc. I decided to set clear guidelines that let him know when I would let him see the kids which required him to have a home, job, sobriety and a way to get to and f...
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carolinagirl
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8
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350
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I need suggestions
(Preview)
I need advice on how to deal with my active alcoholic Mother. She is 85 years old, educated, sophistocated and lives independently. She was a great mother, and did not begin drinking until I left for college. I have told her respectfully and clearly on several occassions over the years that she is ab...
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Kai678
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14
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601
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The Aunt Strikes again!
(Preview)
Some of you a while ago gave me some excellent insight reguarding my Aunt Sandra, my Dad's sister. She was inundating me with mail, career advice, and so forth, all from the South FL area. I expressed that, for the sheer fact that she sent it, I felt obliged to act on it, and I felt guilty about the whole si...
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Tiger2006
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3
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441
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Am I mean??
(Preview)
My 31 y.o. sister just finished rehab for Rx pain killers for the second time. I supported her all through rehab, wrote letters, sent money,etc. Now she's been home for a few weeks. I've tried to support her since she's been back , but she's already back to the nasty cycle of lying and using again...
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IndianaWriter
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6
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474
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I slipped
(Preview)
His (my A) moodiness got to me tonight, don't know if it was me being tired from being with the grandkids all day and trying to get my normal chores done...or if he was just moody...I sent him to bed 1/2 way through a movie as I didn't want to listen to him snore anymore...then came into the bedroom to find h...
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marmare
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8
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649
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need chatroom java
(Preview)
My computer started crashing last week and I had it worked on. I just tried to get into the chatroom and it said my j"ava runtime failed to load". Then it closed. Please tell me exactly what I need to download to get back into the chatroom I miss my buddies! I have not been since last Wednesday!...
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afglin
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1
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291
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My husband is home from detox
(Preview)
Well they let myAH come home from derox yesterday after 6 days. they gave him this drug that supposedly detoxes rapidly. They released him with a new drug that stops the craving for alchohol, has anyone heard of this? They also sent him home woth an antidepressant. He seems very quite and withdraw...
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Chetch
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3
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452
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newbie
(Preview)
hi to every1
Ive just spent the last few days reading up a lot on al anon and stumbled across various websites related to al anon.
Ive got my very first meeting today, and to say im a little bit nervous and anxious of the unknown is an understatement.
But by some great coincidence when i was on one of t...
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lainyb
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4
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382
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Been a heckuva week...just want y'all to know...Definately need y'alls support...
(Preview)
Sunday: Convo with mom. Synopsis: Mom, I'm not gonna tolerate our relationship being based in blaming, manipulation, lying, or spinning. There's enough hurt, anger, blame, and malfecence on both sides here for each of us to take responsibility, stand up, and have an adult, direct relationship, w...
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Tiger2006
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8
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690
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PITY PARTY?
(Preview)
Why is it that my life is now comming apart at the seams and his is not? Don't get me wrong I wish him well as I do still love him and I have prayed for years that he would stop drinking. It apears as if my prayers were anwsered as he is trying and has gone 2days without - a new record I know that my issues are petty c...
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PURRCEY
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4
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578
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Saying no More!
(Preview)
Dear Kris,
You have been my dearest friend for many years now. I have held you close to my heart, to close at times. And thats why the things I have to say are so difficult to say. And it has taken so long for me to find the words to explain my position.
I have no desire to say hurtful things to you. But I know, w...
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Cheryl28659
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2
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486
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I need help
(Preview)
The other day I posted that I was looking for an online sponsor, but I don't think I made myself very clear. I have been in and out of alanon for around 5 years, but until a couple months ago never really bought that it really applied to me. My husband of 34 years went from 28 years of not even drinking a dro...
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Jocar
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5
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454
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